Kath get out now! It’s not funny!
If you want your King and Queen back you’ll have to catch me! I’m all ice. You’ll have to lick me to death. It’s Frozen. Are you the bad prince Kel or Kristoff?
Kath! This isn’t the time! I need the pieces back on the board game. Get out of the cool room. Now.
Kim walks in
What’s she doing Kel?
She’s bloody taken all the chess pieces off the board and hiding in there.
I’m the adorable snow woman Kim! He has to lick me to get the pieces back.
This isn’t the time Kath! This isn’t a game!
Yes it is Kim! It’s chess. I’ve changed the rules to spice up Kel’s life. If he can find the King and Queen, he wins.
But you’re locked in a cool room!
That’s right! I’m making it interesting. Oh shit, there’s some off cheese in here.
You’re going to get in big trouble if you don’t start taking life seriously Kath!
I am! Kel needs some more incentivsing. And this is the beginning of the big plans.
I don’t think locking yourself in a cool room is the way forward Kath.
Nobody asked you Kim. It is a very technical appreciation of some complex science.
A cool room?
Yes. I can’t tell you how, but after Kel has his way and melted me for a few pawns, I’ll let you in on the secret.
I don’t think we have time to waste, Kath.
Yes Kath. Time is of the essence.
Kel, blindfold yourself with a sock. It will make it more interesting.
Oh look Kath. We’re really busy. I haven’t got time for puppetry of the pleasure trove.
steps out of cool room. Chess pieces sticking from her ice castle.
Kel, if you don’t lick me all over, I swear I’ll take those F35’s and give them to the poor people. Do you know what the health budget was last year? And there are some countries that really need Covid help! Seriously. It’s not cammo Christmas everyday you know!
Kath, I don’t think you should talk about stuff you don’t know about. Especially looking like a Smurf slurpee.
I saw those twitter feeds and I know stuff Kel. It is my responsibility to take charge. All I am asking is for a bit of down time where we can connect!
Connect Four Kath! Now is not the time!
You left your run a bit late to tell me what is going on! I was twenty years ahead Kel! You can take your lectures and shove it. As far as I can see, I’m just your soccer ball. That’s not a ball I want to go to I am afraid! This slurpee is going to find someone who actually wants to lick me until the cup is all wet and bendy sort of like
Kath! Wake up and smell the oranges! This is a country doing great things! You can’t be half dressed with icicle nipples! It is just not on!
Girt by sea Kel! Girt by sea. And this is water. And by some incredible process it becomes ice. Scientific fact. All working together. A national effort. You need to spend more time with King Neptune.
Kath, if you don’t pull yourself together, I’m going to revise the ugg boot purchase. That’s a fact.
Threats, idle threats. That’s all I seem to get from you Kel. Well things are going to have to change. The Penguin dick sticklers I had on order are going to someone else.
Who?
I don’t know. But when I think of them, you’ll be the last person to be reading my mind. And that is a fact.