I’m A Toe Tappin’ Intellectual Of the Canberra Variety Song 

 

 

I’m a toe tappin’

Intellectual

Of the Canberra Variety

 

Just look at my shoes

And you got a sense of my

Propriety

 

We totally get off

On long articles

About completely

Nothing

 

And we discuss it

And conferences

That no-one in their right

Mind would want to go to

Unless they had left their

Brain

At the servo

While eating

A muffin

 

Yeah

 

We’re diabolically

Complete

We’ve got string theory

Or laser theorems

Up to our

Big ears

 

And we like to discuss

The theoretical notions

Of human rights in half Pygmy

Land

Or

Water rights

In a totally exotic nation

 

But water rights in our own country

 

Well

 

Ning Nong Moron

Thinks he can bugger with our

Great Barrier Reef

He can piss off

Just piss right off

 

Or we’ll cause a blockade

On our Paddleboard’s

Surfboards from Byron

 

Hell yeah

They got no clue

 

They’re not poisoning the last bastard place

They haven’t botched

With some economic escape

We’ve got fish that look like danglers

Colours to blow your hair

That’d be a great idea

 

No

You can take your dumb arse

Ideas mate

And shove it up another nation

 

You boys have lots of big places

You can toxify the waters

It’s only a national treasure

A marine protected zone

 

A world’s best

That you can’t test

You bastardised the Pacific

Now bugger off

Or we’ll form

A human

Shield

 

Oh we’re a toe tappin’ bureaucrat

In the world’s most boring place

You’re not allowed to say that

Or they wear a very long face

 

They like to wear their shirts

Like the bastards you avoided at school

 

Yeah

 

They’re totally

Boronic

 

Totally

Moronic

 

And the most

Boring Decals

You’ll ever get to

Knnnnooooowwwwwww

 

Avoid at all costs.