Sound of trumpets, enters Paulus Emeritus Grand Poo Bear of China Panda Droppings.
‘The Pax America is not the natural order of things.’
Aussie BS Interpretor:
‘Those Americans can shove it right up the clacker. It is our money.’
’Trump has no appetite for war.’
‘As above. Bugger off.’
‘It is not the Soviet Union. The US must adjust to the reality of China.’
‘It’s my bloody Imperial project and I’ll determine how this goes, troggies’
‘India’s GDP will not rival China’s’
‘US must decide where vital interests lie’
‘With me. Remember who deregulated. That’s right. I’m your Daddy. Who has an investment home or two?’
‘The hysteria of the media.’
‘I own you. No-one compares to me.’
John Lee US Study Centre: China has fiscally spent too much on national security and needs to spend more on ageing.
‘China is a dirty old hag and needs to go jump. It’s that or shares in a dermatologist. We’re gunna win.’
Paul Maley, Oz defence journalist: What do you all think?
Ignore. Cyborg. Deadset. Probably military intelligence on the side.
Martin Parkinson, former PM&C: China is not monolithic. What is it trying to achieve?
Deflect, pose, deflect. Onya Marty. Hey, what does Treasury look like? Any money?
Richard Marles, Opp Defence: We need a guiding philosophy.
Idiot didn’t see the Aussie tourism ad. He’s wearing a George Hamilton tan. Just got off the sun-bed. Ignore. Hey, anyone want to talk about what is happening in South Australia?
Denis Richardson, Canberra Godfather: What do you suggest?
Oh good onya Richard. Clown. We don’t do philosophy in defence. We do strategy.
Marles: A bi-partisan
Piss off Denis. I am trying to make a point here and get more votes. Go back to Washington.
Richardson: We’re going fine.
Defenced ‘up the gonads. I know everything.
Hamish Douglass, Magellan Funds: China is a great opportunity and I would ignore it at your peril.
Chinese officials in the audience. How do I spell Uighar? Is that with a yuan?
Andrew Michelmore, Mining Honcho: I think regarding China, you have to do things differently now.
If we played dirty before, we just play dirty, better. I love mining. Greenies piss off.
John Lord, Huawei: Huawei is a completely innocent party and as ex-NAVY I trust it completely.
Don’t ask about cables, submarines or why ex-NAV is working with a possibly outlawed Chinese tech company. Its top secret.
Albert Tse, Chinese Capital Stuff, Honey: We’re not all trying to take over the world.
But making money helps. Look at me. Don’t ask how I got here.
David Irvine FIRB and Cyber Security: Tech theft and data protection are the big issues.
You need us. We are so protective of you little people, said the Canberra Cardinal. Kiss my ring.
Get me a bucket
Female Media Panel: There should be more Chinese experts. We feel threatened. China should let us do our work.
Poor us. We are so lowly and so rarely given the opportunity to say our piece. But we work for the media. The one that gets to talk a lot. We are all women. Look how important we are! Boo-hoo.
Oscar race here.
This whole bastard conference is about China. I wish I was bloody China.
I’m just here outside ANSTO
What a wonderful delight
Saving the world you see
With an Opal Reactor
It is all about nuclear medicine, can’t you see?
Oh that rare earths agreement
Just a small timely thing
I mean seriously, of course we can
Yeah China might have the run
It was good to allow them
To take the environmental tonne,
Oh we’re an ambitious little Australia
Cocky in our lot
No need to tell anyone what’s going on
We’re Rome on the run,
Nothing like a Western Sydney Wanderer
To make us feel important
We are the sun
When history has forgot us
Or when we’ve turned away from those small inconsequential facts
I know deep down
You’ll unmask the lot
And when the quiet reveals
How you scrubbed aside the
How you carelessly
Your place was more important
Then we’ll see
What rule you claim to
I sure as shit hope
You’ve got some money
For the sick.
Isn’t it funny
They can publish newspapers
As clearly lined
As a modernist dream
But twixt them
Anything that counters real power
Ain’t anywhere to be seen.
There is a thought
That as you get older
You’ll swarm closer to the
Engines of power
And through wisdom
What is right and wrong
What happens is the fight goes
The desire for friendship greater
The estates wither
And then damn those
Holding the line.
I think the rage is
That the fix is in
That you cannot
Change your circumstance
Although they claim
That all are equal
Even in the republic chime
Are people who have benefited from
Relationships that propelled them
And it is this
That is the grist
That makes me green
Because for all that equality propaganda
Are people that owe all their success
To privilege and connections
And what would it matter
If I railed and roiled
It is not business of yours
I am not your fucking donut
A piece of dough to raise and diminish
When you feel fit
You have diminished me so many times
And I have not forgotten
You’d better be careful
If I decide
To use all my energy
To reduce you to
I can’t help it if you bore me
You sort of do
The lectures have been interminable
Sort of like
A parsons lunch
The bastard place
Is lousy with great stuff
You run around being fabulous
And here I am
Sitting in a house
The conversations over the years
Have been the equivalent
Of horseshit being tipped over
I think it is time
For you to get it back.
I’m a worker you see
I lovely little worker
I work so hard
Let me tell you hard I work
I mean how hard I work
I am just such a hard worker
Maybe if you told those
That don’t have a job
How great they can be
And stopped talking about how hard you work
We wouldn’t call you
A bunch of aggrandising tossers
People have always worked
You didn’t invent
Um Jared Diamond
Comes to mind
Can I go hard
On the biological stuff
Because it seems to me that yes
That would be something
Warrant a big bloody
African Swine Flu?
Now what could be
At the centre of that.
They never got it those boys
The huge gap in their perception
Should tread carefully
When trying to define
Someone we saw
Beautiful and luminous
A bona fide star
That was flesh and blood.
A reaction to
The human when sensing
Rightly or wrongly
That they are
A piece on a
Will react like a wild
Like Schoenaerts Mustang
It is the animal instinct that kicks in
Sensing that somewhere
Danger or even
Just flagrant disrespect
And I can imagine
What prisoners feel
It was like that
They learnt a lesson
And yet they continue
While allowing others
To treat people
Let’s just say
I don’t react well
As a notion
The kind version.
We want you to use your platform.
Aha. We want.
The kid border thing
The problem with the kid border thing is that like the refugee issue in Australia, there are national security issues at the heart of it and you don’t want to admit that. But yes, naturally I don’t believe in it. What’s to believe in?
Anyhow, and the border issue and Trump
And Trump. Yes, diabolical. And what? Are we to constantly consider the issues of the American President pressing when internationally there is quite a lot on the plate? You understand that you constantly try to garner more leverage by distracting people from the real issues and perhaps that isn’t exactly
But you know what the President says
What the President says and what is happening at a macro level are two totally different things. He is desperately trying to lose the next election so that the grey police can continue to keep Washington and the capitals ‘cleansed’ as it were from undesirables. Not exactly white shirts. But the tactics are mostly underhand and underreported.
Do you think that unqualified people should be in charge of policy?
No. I didn’t say that. I simply cannot enter constantly into US domestic politics when there are bigger things at play including the fact you had me on a bathroom floor two weeks ago. But Justin Bieber must be really struggling. He probably was but not from glancing in the wrong direction or deigning to go by helicopter over a desert. The crime.
But if you say something
What do you want me to say? I don’t think mistreatment of illegals is humane? Of course it bloody isn’t. But like Australia they will drag this out as part of some human rights agenda when in fact, strategy may have more to do with it.
You don’t know that.
Oh I think I do. And it is inhumane. And yes, I think what the young Democrats are saying is brilliant. What is not to like? I just have other things on my mind.
He is racist.
And? What? You elected him. So, unelect him. Perhaps if you discussed the racist nature of large countries bombing the crap out of smaller ones we’d also have a discussion. I guess then America would not be so outspoken. You see how Empires work? They are only for you if you do not criticise them. If for instance, you say ‘hey Philippines! You are Olaf’ this is not popular. But it is true. Very true.
So you think they should go China’s way.
I am simply saying that if they continue to egg on America’s involvement, a relationship so beneficial to the Philippines they have spent most of their time in the 20th Century abroad looking for work, they will be one of the first hit. Or, if you like your ideas neutered and palatable, they are in an area of ‘hotly contested’ waters or something. Regardless, that’s the dealio and no amount of flag waving from self interested parties that will be sitting back in a hotel room as it happens, makes me think otherwise. But knock yourselves out. If the East keeps this up, they’ll just erase themselves from any possible revival that might have signified something curiously beneficial.
That’s true. Whether or not I advocated the complete opposite is neither here nor there.
Can you even spell Machiavelli?
In the time I would have liked to educate myself, I have been dealing with your incredibly thorough and not so inspiring cyber obfuscation. And allegedly, not talented enough for your ‘work’. If work means ‘politically acceptable journalism advocated by security services that serve nations not people.’ But if you are suggesting whether I am aware that politicians change policy, yes.
Give us a policy.
When I recover from the poison, you get a policy. Dealing with whatever little gem I am going to proffer next as you tell me repeatedly how lacking in talent and morals and strength I am while you beat me down until I cannot get up, I might. By the way, can you please tell a few of your subjects their acting is atrocious. I hate to lose people because you didn’t train them well enough. I thought there always had to be a kernel of truth. I don’t see the kernel.
So wonderful dealing with an expert.
I’m going to do investigative journalism via charades
It is really good idea
Because let’s face it
An elephants arse from space
Everything you write
Even if you in your mind
Camouflaged what you were to ask
If they know
It is sort of sad
That no-one really cares
That no-one even raises the issue
Surveillance so you cannot do your job
Imagine if Silicon Valley
Could not operate computers
That is sort of what it is like
Because they will know what you will ask
What are you going to do about it?
I mean, is the ABC really going to say
That the computers
I mean, what can people do to encrypt
And be notified when a government
Has violated it?
This is technology
You would engage in
If you were serious about the citizen right to know
Although let’s be frank
There will always be a way
For someone to pretend that they are
A voice of democratic rights
When in fact
They are just monitoring those
That really believe
Really pisses me off
You’re still a phoney bastard
If you’re being paid
To be phoney.
It’s not like
You are exonerated
Albania had an earthquake
I wonder whether it has anything to do
With the base?
Having to fight for everyone’s right
Is a bastard pain
I am so suited
To a daytime TV show
I’d get my teeth done
Worry about my veins
Pick the colour sequins
Instagram my day
Have lunch with a powerbroker
Tell no-one about my tradey on the side
Hit up a Premiere
And go gliding near my
Yacht called ‘Velvet Munch’
Make time for a
Evening swim at Whale Beach and sit there
Listening to night-time sounds
The Kooka reminding me
Of humanity’s lot
They’ve fucking ear marked me
For the Virgin Maryann
Oh give it break
If you were serious about using
All the bastard technology of government
You’d make everyone’s life
So full of shit.
Oh good one Jacqui.
You’re not going to tell us
What deal you will do with the government
Between you and Pauline
You gotta wonder.
What would be the problem
With giving some bastard some
Who are you people?
The placenta three
Are running the joint
It’s like the back of the room in Year Six
While we play
They look like a Ron Mueck sculpture
But those appear
To be human.
Grow a penis
Yours looked small
Even in the
Did you see the big fuck off maps?
I mean, look at that.
I mean, how can you say that isn’t a threat, hey?
What, as opposed to the F35’s you are selling that most definitely did not employ a large section of local workers?
The technology comes from multiple leading
Please feel free to document the amount of ‘local’ workers employed and whether there were any ‘foreign interference’ laws violated. I think they call it lobbying in some countries. I mean, not legally of course, because only the Chinese would do that. I mean, clearly. And I know that because Las Vegas and the Air Force and the proximity of test ranges to casinos would in no way suggest that there would be corruption of any sort. I mean you guys are clean. I just think every day ‘MMMMM don’t I love clean eating.’ That’s why I ate a ‘defense’ smoothie in in Las Vegas and churned that motherfucker up until I could very clearly see that, it could be, I am right.
Those are baseless accusations
But we’re not building roads everywhere, we’re not
No, point taken there son. What is there is a ‘debt trap’ is there? Sure. Reminds me of those released sex tapes before everyone finds out they are gay.
Have you even examined the terms?
Let me see. Dumb Prime Ministers who run countries and have degrees from Oxford and LSE and hang out at the UN with other Prime Ministers, with more economic advisors than is naturally possible, sign agreements with debt traps. Yeah, that makes sense. That Greek logic of yours is really working overtime. Wait – oh my god! Could there be more to it than that! Could it possibly be, that this is not the end of the story?! NOOOOOOO Scarlett cries, her taffeta skirt swishing in the morning air, as Mame yells
People are voting with their feet! Joshua Wong
Has woken up in his own wet dream. He was probably a pedophilia intake from ‘85. That boy is way too young.
That’s not funny
Is it 20 million funny? Dave Chappelle gets 20 million a session for sitting out on an Ohio farm and mining jokes. Now that my friend, is capitalism.
They are fighting for human rights. For freedom.
You want to dictate the terms but get them to do the heavy lifting? Oh no. I got that bit.
The violence of the police
What? What ‘America the policeman in Gaza’? You mean those police?
This is a crucial time
After you let a bomb rip? I mean, in Aceh they just destroyed the homes of the dirt poor. But this time, I mean you even got some people with big houses. Military innovation one day at a time.
You are not going to try and tell me that you think
How would we know what happened or even why it happened? Transparency nil.
Hurricane Dorian, natural disasters are part of the oceans warming
Not so natural methinks, but plug away.
Science has proven
How the hell does anyone get away with saying the oceans are warming not implicating any military or commercial technology when you got nuclear submarines running around populating the universe like some out of control dipshit
We have stringent laws that stop us from
Yes we do.
You knock off your own people by having lax chemical laws that allow people to die from cancer that could have been entirely preventable. I don’t know. I’d have to find those secret laws.
You have no evidence
The cancer clusters you dumb half baked moron, are in all the areas where your petroleum and nuclear companies are located. They even have clusters on your rivers right where you have factories that just happen to specialise in chemicals.
Being a cheap hack
Trojan War over, Aeneas wandering home
Have you ever even read it?
Not your business.
If Derry doesn’t want a divided Ireland and America is outraged by the mass shootings, what is the scenario with Libya, Turkey; the INF withdrawal, the missile statements from Pompeo and Yemen bombings?
There is no link
Right so, when I discuss these things, how is it different say, from a reporter or a commentator or an analyst at a think tank? Let’s say, people view them as stoking certain current international positions. Will they be viewed as pariahs?
Well, Trump is getting a caning
Yes. But that hasn’t changed policy, has it? I mean, when I have tried to change policy – or when people enter politics, isn’t that effectively trying to bring about an end to situations or alleviate the plight of people who are voiceless?
So when I say that the lack of water in certain countries as a result of policy means that it is imperative that people in Africa find ways to make sure that they have access to clean and reliable water sources, how likely is that?
Well, I am not sure
Because at the end of the day, rulers have to be making decisions that make lives better not harder for the constituent.
Right. So when I – out of my sense of service – look at whether or not water sources are clean, is that not a ruler being effective and compassionate about the subjects that rely on my good judgment?
Yes, I would say yes of course
Good. That is all I wanted to hear you say. So, make clean water in Africa more reliable and make sure the people have it.
Well the rivers
I can’t see how you can say yes to plants and factories and other industrial items and not think about whether or not the clean water sources will affect people locally. I mean, their health.
There are many programs
Good. Because that is what I want and that is what I wanted to hear. Great work. Keep going. I’d like that an immediate result to be implemented….immediately. Clean water and sources accessible now. And some start up fund lot can make sure that it happens. I don’t want to see people lining up for water in a drought ravaged river. Or toxic water in community situations.
How is this linked to the international situation that you
Oh. Well. I just want to know why being outspoken or concerned with health issues is derided. I thought it might be best to keep going while I can.
You have chosen some pretty powerful people to argue with
I don’t see them as the enemy.
Well I would say
How do you propose we deal with surveillance? Modify behaviours? Turn into robots? What is your belief here
That we be careful of what we say when
How can a satellite determine the difference between theatre, satire and reality? It cannot. Only humans can. Therefore humans know when I am behaving to violate intimidating censorship and when I am performing. Only humans.
What if they have no sense of humour?
The satellites or the humans?
Then, they are serious about the issues of State. I see no point in it. Not a good PR exercise.
But they do not have to absorb poor behaviour by the citizen.
Of course they do. They are the State. The power quotient is uneven therefore the stronger set must endure as they are the larger force. The individual is not plankton to be picked off for amusement.
Coming from you
I was on a floor. Fourth time. Poisoned. I have not ever made it public until last month. Don’t tell me about amusements.
Your fricatives have frankly
If you work with incredible power on your side, you wear it. Surely they knew the consequences.
If they don’t wear it, they are the Mafia.
There is a middle ground
Aha! A protest! Wait. No more protests!
Oh it looks like yes
A bit of biffo from the police.
Not happy Hong Kong. Not happy Hong Kong!
Oh a little bit of teargas
Did anyone get that on TV? Did we get it for the cameras? Have you got your flak jacket on? Lucky. Bloody hell. Might lose a shirt. Stain the Hugo Boss.
Oh very volatile. Oh very volatile this democracy.
Wait There’s been another press conference. Yep, the protestors are out of control and Carrie Lam is a cow. That’s the sum of it people. That’s the sum of the parts.
Someone has lost an eye. No, forget the bombing in the Middle East this is real stuff folks! Real real time stuff.
Now we have the cavalcade of commentators wading in. Let’s see what they have to say.
Oh bless. Yep, China is the baddie. Works doesn’t Canberra? Yes works for Canberra. Works for Hong Kong. Works for wait are those US flags? Oh yes looks like we have some US flags in the proceedings. Nice touch there. Just in case we didn’t know who was promoting democracy. Nice DNA, gene pool not to be denied. Works for the US of A.
Gosh, this is game is really hard to predict. What with the University charges in Australia, the foreign interference laws, and the island fracas what do you think is going to happen here folks? ASEAN has just moved into place. Decided to do some warship thing with some other blokes. South East Asian Nations. Wild concept.
Oh look, a nice young fresh bloke to lead the charge. Well Well well, who would have thought. That’s the way. Who bloody needs university anyway. Rule of law and all that. Wouldn’t be a barrister every five kilometres in HK to sort the whole melee out now would there? No. Such a big place. How would you find them? Difficult. Much be tough. To find so many well appointed lawyers and stuff. Must be hard this constitutional stuff.
Wait, my assistant has just handed me the agreement. Yep, looks like the Joint Declaration that was signed between the British and China. I have it here, it says:
‘The law that is currently in force in Hong Kong will remain unchanged’
Uh oh. That’s not good for the Chinese side now is it folks. Straight up penalty there. Yep, easy two points between the posts. Oh dear. How are they going to get out of that one? Seems to me with the extradition they have just walked straight into a trap wouldn’t you say? Oh too right. No, that one I am afraid on the Hawkeye is not going to go their way.
And now we have the counter move from the mainland. Also from the memorandum also signed between the British and the Chinese.
Wait. Wait. Here it is – looks like Hong Kongers are under ‘under national law of the PRC… all Hong Kongers are Chinese nationals’
Uh oh. That really muddies the pie. That’s a real problem there. And foreign affairs and defence are under control of the PRC’
Wonder what happens now. I mean, is this a foreign issue or a defence issue? Imagine there is a fair bit of discussion going on by coaches of both sides.
The question is: are there defence assets inside Hong Kong that are important to the mainland? Other than the whole bloody island of course. This is not an insignificant question.
We’ve already seen the bloody mess in the players lounges so this is no laughing matter. Hell of a way to play the game don’t you think?
Quite like the balaclava and the mask touch. Always works always worked in Indonesia, you get a nice big fat pic on the front of Time Magazine. Bloody beauty. Someone is bound to win a human rights prize for that one. And then they’ll forget what they were fighting about in the first place.
Few penalties required though. Not quite finished yet. Boris Johnson is bound to say something completely stupid wait oh he has said something has he? No. Just his half brother setting up a real estate fund thing. Good timing. Nice one Max.
Moving right along, the Chinese have responded and said that it was a historical document that has no practical relevance. What do you think of that ey? No practical relevance well this is a game of football that has taken us from Africa to the Middle East to the BRI to Hong Kong I dunno, I reckon there has been a lot of practical relevance to what has been happening around the traps with China on the splurge eh? Oh no, I reckon that is almost sin bin. I mean, a few porkies there eh? Jesus. That’s a call and a half.
Oh the G7 has said something but let’s be frank. We haven’t got time for a photo op. No, photo ops not here. People are out on the streets! Get with the program! God I haven’t had this much fun since the Carnation revolution, wait the Saffron revolution wait the do we have a briar bush revolution? No. No roly poly revolutions here that must be still waiting in the Australian bush. Waiting for the rain.
They’ve been marching in the rain in Hong Kong! Marching in the rain! When was the last time we got out and marched? Well. Probably weren’t going to get extradited to the mainland. To be fair. Just marching straight to the meat pie stand. The hot dog with the lot. I’ll have two beers and make them not light.
Yes, thankyou to our fine friends in DSD they just keep our conversations and scramble them until someone on the other side actually thinks it is policy. Brilliant strategy. Real Australian outback stuff. The backline doing incredible work and just throwing it to the wings when the ASX looks a little weak. This is called the Sweet Spot. Stuff of legends.
I mean, who wants to meet someone in a lane way in Beijing on a dark night? Not sure. Not sure my Mandarin is up to scratch. Might leave that to the experts.
What do you think do you think democracy has had a hard run on it? I don’t know. Bloody lot of ships in the waters. Lot of activity on the democratic front, might be a few laughs around here, two Gulf Wars, Libya, a War on Terror, Syria, Yemen and now this. I mean on a scale of one to ten, how hard up do you think the democratic forces are here folks?
Yep. Think they’re having a bit of tug. Never mind, all fun and games and well, it isn’t coming out of our budget. Lucky. I mean, other than a few boats that we designed anyway. ‘Cause we are Nancy boy crawlers that get all our ideas from the missus but forget that there is a TM printed on the big fat gazoo. Yeah, that’s how it is played out here. These are Games For The Ages.
The big question is: how many of the other coaches and players are in on it, right? I mean you got Malaysia, a real little stellar number there at limiting Chinese influence, you got Cambodia everyone mad as hell about the free passes the Chinese are getting inside although let’s not forget Australia’s role in the 90’s, I think there might be a little more to that than meets the eye, what with Australia on the ground in Asia eh?
Not sure whether some contraband uranium got through the lines and into the hands of some of the opposing side. Now that would cause a real historical stink wouldn’t it? I mean, if anyone was looking at history and let’s be frank. This game is too important for history. It is for passion! Ideology! Straight up stupidity! I mean, what is a game of geopolitical football without the sort of hair raising stupidity that lends it so much credibility among the non-initiated eh?
I mean you have got all these planes and I mean, who doesn’t like planes? I mean, just hand a few over to Taiwan because that is sure to ease tensions don’t you think? I mean that is just certifiable gold there. Forget the blue water navy! Forget the chain of pearls! Just keep handing over the planes.
But moving along, you got Vietnam – well enough said there, the wind blows very democratic in that corner at the moment, and you got the actor Rodrigo ‘I’m for China but not really but I am from the South and the whole family can run this joint cause this is the Phillipines and we can do what we want’ but I think with the Catholic influence there, the Mariana Trench I think it is a little more clear cut but if it was me, I mean I am just saying, you are well inside some contested territory and you can never know which way this game goes so, you want to make sure the lighter 5/8th’s, the forwards aren’t punished for some reckless moves but not popular, no not popular in this part of town but at the end of the day, I dunno, I’d be a bit cautious when you got God Fearing Loving Filipinos doing the grunt work eh?
Well yes, whole bloody region and that’s why this is so important. I mean, you might think it is just some stupid drop out university kids causing trouble so they can get a Masters at a US university but the real question would be what people think in Laos, Indonesia, you know, the heartlands of this debate. They are the real fans. The real believers. And this is where these two sides have got to start playing with a bit of ticker.
No ‘oh yeah, here is a little money for the Saturday shopping, go buy yourself a fast train’ no no that’s not going to work. They’re going to have to go deep inside and actually care about the fans! That’s right! The players are actually going to have to care about the outcome and work for the ticket price!
Not a little ‘oh just give me my money thanks, I am a good old Roman soldier and where is the Macca’s in my barracks’ No not going to work! I think these teams have their work cut out for them because it may be that with the demise of the dummy pass as a real ploy, I mean everyone can see it coming, they are going to have to take it to the people. I mean, I don’t think the old style of play is going to work. Colour by numbers is out mate! They both have some serious thinking to do.
Well no I don’t think anything it is not for me to comment at this stage.
How would you call it? Get in a lawyer son. Bound to be one in Hong Kong. Not sure I’d be lighting match with so much at stake. Can’t say I fancy a match up between some tanks and a few skinny uni boys that are still fed by their mother.
The problem is if the tanks go in: China’s lost the game. If the protestors don’t negotiate, they could lose momentum. It will be up to the backs to defend the ground they’ve gained in the last quarter. Clearly, Hong Kong has decided it wants independence so it is all touch and go here. You’re going to see some big moves in the next little while and let’s remember: China is not a team of small Anaheim Ducks.
Could be wrong. Could be wrong. Been wrong before.
And the great thing is, we have Donny to help us remember: the markets go up, the markets go down. But someone always makes money.
No, the arrests are a downright problem, what we have here are real diplomatic incidents and with the trading might of China, the Huw-are-we dilemma I think we can clearly say that everyone is in two minds about the clout of the new kid on the block. Canada is not happy. Australia is not happy but happy to take the money. Well, who doesn’t love money?
And they love to play the boys don’t they? All the boys just beside themselves with Five Eyes. No a brown eye. No, Five Eyes I have heard it from here, but there was a brown eye but we’re leaving it right there. I’m getting an EDIT signal from the control tower on that one. Five Eyes it is.
The Brits have gone in on the Middle East warship thing although giving you a bit of inside information here, energy is shipped through via other means so not sure about that as real play-on-play, significant of course with Iran but at the end of the day, every move has to mean something.
That Modi medal care of the UAE really set the cat amongst the pigeons but was probably a bit of a ‘suck you Qatar’ a bit of friendly inter-Mussie Shia-Sunni down low mud wrestle. Not sure that is top quality play, just a bit of heckling from the side now that Qatar has the World Cup.
You got Kashmir, you got Syria, you got Putin and Erdogan doing a little red lap dance, I mean, this game is still up in the air in some areas. We’ve not even covered Russia up North.
We’ll have to get to the Ukraine next show.
Anyway, there you have it, there’s a stop in play in Hong Kong while everyone works out the next step. And be warned.
The ANC will be blamed for everything. They don’t understand how to run a country.
Oh wait, someone else did the run the country and just left half of the population out. And then it was handed over.
What are they protesting about in Hong Kong?
Yeah no feck no
Oh feckin hell
For fecks sake
Look here I am
Ain’t it a right royal blast
Headlines of the day
‘Hugh White says we must have more nuclear weapons’
Oh thanks very feckin’ much Hugh
That’s a feckin’ great contribution
Must put that one away in the scrap book
Who feckin’ knew
Boats, South China Sea and now
He wants us to feckin’ leach
The groundwater with some
That we export anyway
Sell it on
To some bastard in the Sth China Sea
May or may not be an ally
Feckin’ hell Hugh
What a feckin’ book
Who the feck knew
Imagine you’re like all smart and stuff
Know a few languages
Like I don’t know
Seventeen years at university
And then you gotta read that rubbish
O thanks very much
Might just be like Americah
And keep burying shit into the ground
From a plane you might as well
Just write the feckin’ Armageddon now anyway
Oh look another silo!
Can’t agree on where to bury it
But good on Jolly Roger!
Let’s keep this thing going because it is good feckin’
Oh A one champs!
You are really workin’ those little
Nano brain cells out!
Not hard is it!
Not like it’s a mathematical theorem
‘Toxic waste left over earth divided by
Two the square of dopey’
Feck me fellas!
Oh look! War games in the North!
Oh who feckin’ knew
Ten years of that rubbish
Think we’re stupid do yah
I swear to feckin’ god
I would like to know
Who doesn’t work for the government
I mean, is there anyone left
Who is remotely normal?
Not feckin’ likely is it?
Oh feck no
‘Oh she’s a real danger that one.
Full of mouth and wit
Let’s just truss her up in
Our new little fascist domain’
Can’t find a feckin’ enemy
And it’s not like you could
Find your way out of the hallways
Of the feckin’ cyber security HQ anyways
Now could yah?
Seventeen years at university
And I want to find on a computer
Someone doing something bad
On a computer
It’s not like black leather
And a blow job is it
And a swimmin’ pool!
No, it feckin’ ain’t
No big feck off parties
Tell a joke
And they’ll have you up
On charges they will
‘You did not read the memo
On fashion in the circle
We are quite
And wear shoes you only
Ever see on
That think government
Have you seen those shoes?
I don’t think we’re in the same club people
I do not think we are in the same feckin’ club
Swear to feckin’ god
They’re the ones you put on
Someone who has died
And has no shoes
They keep them
In a cupboard
Just for that
‘Aha! The shoes for the dead people with no shoes.
We found these in Canberra in 1997
It was a peace rally for the
Under Represented Minorities of
I’ll Have That Land Thanks
And a little bit of money
For my effort.’
Australia needs to arm against China
No-one wants to hear your 2002 views around here!
I did that already and the world has moved on son!
Maybe I’ll grow a beard
Sell my personality
And then get interviewed
By bastards clever enough to know
This is shite mate
Feckin’ shite if ever there was some
For fucks sake
Grow a brain
Yer talkin’ out your arse mate
Mara bloody linga
Can spell that.
Flapping Flying Fish Norway. The Song.
I’m from Norway
Flapping fish behind them
I’m from Norway
And what we got there
And some big feckin’
Oh big feckin’ planes
Because you know the Russkies
Put your bad boy Hot Tub Time Machine cable
We’re going the Russkies
There is only one passage
And it is our passage!
They’ve had a few
When it is all said and done
Broadcast the North Korean
Wall to wall
But ours are top secret
We’re a lovely bunch of democracies
Some as big as your head
We can’t tell you
About our little blasts
It is top secret
In a democracy
They might be more
Than the threat of yore
The nephew crew cut
With a belly of
But we can’t say that
Because we’re curating
Our living space
Oh we can’t say that
Because we need to pick up another
For the Fourth Estate
And talk about
That never made the news
It is I just buried in the Bumwaffle Institute of Investigative Cyborgs
You’re not very helpful
No you’re not very helpful
What a good idea to get up every morning for that
Oh Bumwaffle cyborgs
I think we should level you
On the bathroom floor
We’re so big and tough
Got big muscles
And a really small
Yeah our gang is just totally top secret
And everything we do is just
And just like the A List
Has a certain cache
Do you want to be a
You’ll be amazed at how
Tough you become
We’re just so smart
We’re Bumwaffle Cyborgs
The very elite of the elite
There is only millions of us
Around the globe
But each of us is special
In a very special way
There is only millions of us
All around the globe
Hiding our very secret
Not so very well it would seem
But thankfully we have
Will lead the way
And we’re alll
Protagonist: Um, can I have something else please?