Tag: walkabout


I dunno about you, but the string of pearls is lookin’ mighty interestin’ at the moment ain’t it? 


Just a few riots in Sri Lanka. 


They liked the Presidential kitchen. Good. They can stay there. We doin’ other things. 


Personally I did not think it was a good look and of course snore bore they think we are going to talk about debt trap diplomacy. 


It’s sort of like Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise but this time they say it is China but really I don’t know. 


I think China just builds it all and then we walk on in with a bag.


Not a good idea to discuss this in the matter of the Black Sea or with Fancy Nancy Pelosi who has decided that Taiwanese strategic ambiguity is not like Bowie and totally doable but necessary to cast off like children in the night. 


Tilda. Take note. 


To the matter of the Sea where Turkey sits like a nightclub bouncer making sure that only what they let through can come though givin’ Yelensky – the man who single handedly has revived the fortunes of olive green – more ammo to complain about the lack of willpower to save Western Democracy or everything Yellow and Blue. 


To the issue of the Black Sea – where they have decided that wheat can come through according to a late but necessary desire not to starve millions of people, not a great PR look on any given Friday given the bollocking they gave Stalin over the years, Muriel is now taking a look at those rivers that creep up through parts of Europe like a bare leg on a hot summers night. 


Never noticed it before but now that DOPEY has decided to go all Franz with his NATO mates – sledging your fellow countrywoman abroad for the second time possibly coming in a close second only to Ike Turner and Jeff Kennett. 




Freddy would not. 


The Northerners did this. Giving you a live update as to where the hell everyone might be getting whatever they need whenever they want. 


Back to the Black Sea, the question begs if Turkey is running around as the henchman of Montreaux, what in actual fact is happenin’ at these Ports? 


As in, if the UKKA Ports are down how they goin’ to get the grain out? 


Well like that.


Timmy tug boat, not some BFO destroyer doin’ the job so those maritime budgets were worth it. 


They are busy doin’ more exercises in the summer heat, ‘cause as you know navies really do not get enough of good climates and water. 


Or to put it simply, a totally legit loaded radar a necessary  accomp to find out where in these European seas the proverbial is currently underway.


Muriel thinks that the situation of gas pipelines makes everything a little more complicated than might actually be stated as actual fact at the moment, you know, Europe still suckin’ the teat of Russia like glycolic and retinol on heat. 


I will not mention it again. 


But to be fair, if you have the Sea of Azov, the Marmara and the Med, well, that’s a lot of ocean. 


See that? That is called not talking about what everyone might be talkin’ about that might be really important and if DOPEY had not been an idiot I could give you more of a concise summation of the FLOCK at play. 


That is, I’d prefer more information. As it were. Rupert. 


But never mind, as per usual the development of a rich tapestry dedicated to the strategic shifts will not depend on White Boy And Attitude but someone whose personality is not helicoptered in on a Lacoste shirt at a party on the Med while wistfully looking at bait he cannot and should not touch.


I am Muriel and I am here to help.



Wheat, Ukraine


Gee I hope there is more than a wheat crop at stake in the Ukraine. 


Anyway, apparently there might be sanctions on Eritrea because well there is a Port. 


Do not be fooled. 


This is way more complicated than that even if you minus the bullshit Tigray independence thing due to the Chinese interests also in Ethiopia and the Western bases alongside the Chinese base in Djibouti.


There is a map here that I love and does not tell you anything about how hot it is in this part of the world. 


But it does tell you about Potash and why people like potash.


If it is another ‘I am going to blow you up woman’ sort of coded message, naturally I am out because it gets real borin’ for me but it might be wise to think about why they want that pipeline ‘they’ bein’ the Chinese.




Anyway, you can read the long version here.


I will not discuss the Somaliland aspect as that is off the charts and I would need to try and work out who wants what map line to change. 


Maybe I can sleep with a policymaker while frontin’ a transparency outfit. 


That’s always a great way to make a livin’.



OK so the McMahon Line is sure as hell way on the charts because apparently the Chinese have been namin’ everythin’.


See, I can look at that map forever. 


It suggests that things might get interestin’ on the border or not. 


Anyway, thanks for this because actually I can see somethin’, do not have to hear someone lie to me about what the hell is goin’ on and it still suggests that Muriel was not an idiot in the first place.


Would you like to tell us where this is goin’ to end or should I read the Dalai Lama’s tea leaves for inspiration? 


Christopher Hitchens did over Mother Theresa for years. 


I feel no obligation to be nice to religious leaders of the Pentecostal variety. 


Wooden beads have no real value. 




Um Saudia Arabia.


Ah I don’t think askin’ for help when you have been loaded for eternity a good look but um, asking for help with Patriot missiles certainly an interestin’ choice. 


‘Can you help us violate some of our neighbours?’


Salman. Really. 


I mean I know this is a proxy sort of Iranian thing but Jesus Christ!


A few less fast cars might have helped the situation. 


It is not an insignificant amount of money BTW.


Didn’t you hand around the hat a few years ago? 


Gawd almighty.


And what are we to think of the Yemeni children that have arms as big as a stick? 


I hope to god there is a good pretext for cloudin’ what you lot are protectin’ in the Red Sea and that Strait. 


I mean, if those lot can get all that land on the border of Rich Fast Car Arabville, somethin’ is goin’ down real colourful.


Just who is tryin’ to get stuff out of that waterway? 


Oh boy. 


That’d be worth an interdiction. 


Of course you could always make someone feel like they were making headway. 


And then just apply the screws at the last minute. 


CIC I missed the Duntroon Masters but ah I’m gonna keep my eye on this one good and proper. 


Mookie, what are the odds? 



You need to apologise


Piss off


What was the problem down South? 


I can’t keep walking into your intell set ups. It creeps me out. 


We couldn’t have you sniffing around the sugar factories




It was a test. You didn’t go back. 


It was a rekky. Besides, I made my point. If you are going to employ young men to do your dirty business, at least have them not treat the subject as a fool. Did you make me sick?




What is so interesting out there that makes you ensure a handler with me at all times?


I have no idea 


The Chinese don’t care about what I write.


Yes. They do. 


Dramatically Ooooh. That’s because it may not just involve the Chinese. 


I don’t 


That would be a problem. 




The problem is inaccuracy 


There is nothing more beautiful than pulling the pieces together. What an interesting little place it is.


It was our opinion 


And all I can think about this week is, who can forget a program about my relatives just as I was investigating big interests in Australia. And you know the strange thing? The story was given to me by intelligence. I mean these yarns don’t drop out of the sky, do they? Now why would Intelligence who gave me the story then want my relatives to be discredited on Australian TV? It could be a tussle you see, between British vs American interests. I mean, you guys post-war have given it to the old guard, now haven’t you? Murdoch meeting Kennedy wasn’t a mistake. The Greeks taking charge. Tally Ho! It could be a desire to make someone committed to public information more of a, let’s say, privacy advocate. In that Roman Catholic sort of way. Or you were just testing me. Most likely. But funnily enough, it didn’t touch me. It never occurred to me that I should be worried. That I would actually care. Laughs You poor bastards. Must have spent months on that one. Cackles, shaking head You never have fucking understood the Irish have you. 


I have no 


Not a great story for Australian intelligence is it. Australia’s premier investigative public program using government funds to go after an investigative reporter? How are you going to spin it? 


We don’t


And just as you are going after China for state propaganda. 


Those are old 


No. I think anyone who sees themselves as part of an administration that actually cares about the Fourth Estate, would without a doubt, support an investigation into intelligence being used against democratic citizens. I mean, ordinary citizens. In Australia. Not paid by any foreign government. 


I think you need to think carefully about what you are 


This is Australian sport. This is the first week of the cricket at the SCG. Howzaaaaat dickhead. 


Walks out. 




Backlit: Ethiopians covered in white shrouds off to Church. 


Well fucking next time I will call a press conference 


It wasn’t 


I step off the fucking plane and I have 20 million little idiots taking cell phone pictures every five minutes what the fuck is going on over there? I nearly decked the Chinese embassy witch that stood directly in my face and clicked away at that shitty little dive they throw us all into so they can intell profiles 


We have to have everyone there 


Can’t you see me on a fucking satellite? What the hell are you all doing? I mean fuck me have things not evolved?


How would you know. You don’t know anything except what we 


I do a pretty good job of not knowing anything, it has served me 


Not anymore 


Pause You want me to discuss military operations in Africa. Why would I do that? 


Because you love it. 


There is no evidence!


None? That’s unlike you my little Girl Scout. And entirely unbelievable. 


How could I possibly know anything without going to every other African state to really understand what is 


You don’t have time. Pauses What about the local concerns?


That’s a stupid thing to say. Manipulative rubbish.They need not to be poisoned by fucking residue from dirty bombs.


Pause There is a large African Union building. And a large UN building. 


What the hell does that mean? 


It means you should think about it. 


Oh thanks very fucking much. That’s extremely helpful.  I am sure the Ethiopians are greatly thankful they have had the white honkies and now the Chinese to set them on the right path to Haile Selassie Greatness. I’ll fucking let you know when to bring in the swarm of bees right before they lose all their water and end up swimming in a trickle as big as the fucking Liffey 


Wait. I think I see …wait no…yes! A person. She used to be…could be just an epiphany. 


Oh go fuck your cheesy balls. 


Goes to walk out, stops at door


And some think he was a traitor btw. 


Really? Selassie? My Google is doing good research these days. 


I got it from an ex-military cabbie




Oh eat my muff cocksucker. 






I’m not using local translators 


And how do you 


They are big fat liars and they stuck me in a tent full of naked women who looked like they wanted to cook me 


Well there are a few 


Now I have a giant red pimple on my arse and I am pretty sure some bastard convinced a spider to sit on my greatest asset and 


Probably wasn’t wise to start an argument with your guides ten minutes into the trip 


They’re a bunch of fucking liars 


It is called the State. They are your constituents. 


Oh yeah? What by editing as they translate and conveniently directing me away from the scene of interest? That’s called horseshit. Patronising horseshit. 


They were helping you. As I said, the issue of Chinese sugar factories 


Well what do you expect? You just carve out huge swathes of territory, leave the poor local bastards to just deal with it while claiming you are making sugar! If they are making sugar my arse is the Eiffel Tower 


Remember when we explained that statecraft and diplomacy was about nuances. About how we say things. 


You mean I’m not supposed to make a link between the shape of sugar factories and nuclear rod things 


Nuclear rod things. Fuck me


You know what I mean. Those long things you have when you make a plant. 


You didn’t go there. You cannot claim anything. The discussion is mute at this point. 


You mean it is a moot point. 


Don’t go developing an intellect it will kill me. 


Taps fingers 


So let’s assume that through my policy deliberations I advocated the very thing that I am seeing 


Oh glory! Could it be true! Reality has hit the tackled punk Echidna wearing dog hair in one of the wealthiest suburbs in 


It isn’t the wealthiest 


It isn’t the Bronx sweetie but besides that exactly our fucking point! You cannot be everything all at once like some deranged Liberace Kissinger offspring 


Why not? Washington is blue and red now that the Democrats have taken control of the 


Did you see things and what will you do about it? 


I’m not going to bloody tell you, am I! 


Seriously, I wouldn’t ask you to do anything, it would be like asking a pavlova to discuss Bitcoin 




Quelle surprise


You are asking me to reveal security details in a country I just visited without all the evidence. 


I’m not asking you at all! 


Why would I reveal it? 


I didn’t say you would reveal it. But surely you know, regarding the environment and things you have seen, contribute to an understanding of the larger picture 


Listen. If you want me to discuss strategic decisions being made that facilitate naval power by any which power, just say so. I just don’t know that A + B = C in this situation




The Frenchies 




Well they may have a different take on things. 


According to who? There is a big fucking US base inside the border. Just pull it together and give us a larger picture. Stop being cute. All that Christian crap got to your brain 


Here you have an early Christian country. They’re still poor. They’ve been fighting Eritrea and now..peace. They’ve struck it strategically lucky and actually I think 


If you want to be the benevolent woman at the centre of a Christian story you must decide that. Decide. 


I thought I was Sabine. 




You went there for a reason. We have a good idea why. Lose the cuteness and get your shit together. 


No-one asked you. 


No-one asked you. But we are dealing with it. Your highness. 


Good. About fucking time. 




Do you think she knows anything? 




What can you glean from the pictures? 


Nothing. She hasn’t got a clue and I don’t think we should follow this down the 


Anyone can just have a look and discern for themselves. The stories of the relocations and 


There’s no proof. Why is she focussing on this and not what we handed her on a silver platter? 


Because if there is anything to her theory, it makes the whole security scenario a shit load more interesting. 


What more than pipes and dams and railways and sugar factories? It’s infrastructure. It is exactly what she was always banging on about.


Why does it trump houses and northern security imperatives? 


She’ll move West. Either connecting the energy, possibly South Sudan possibly Kenya. 


She’s a pain in the arse. Just let me know what she saw in Djibouti. 


Not much. Other than the new construction. She has nothing concrete. Ports. That’s it. 


Did she get to Niger? 







I think you are overplaying the downturn. 


Overplaying. Overplaying. 


You can’t honestly tell me that there is real economic trouble. Who wants it? 


No-one wants it. 


Are you ready to tell a large swathe of the great unwashed that economic hardship is what you wish them as you sit pretty on good investments and a roof above your head. Are you? I’m not. 


You sound like Pocahontas. We can’t control what happens. 


Yes. You can. Don’t do it. Don’t create something that will have major global repercussions and destroy little dumpy countries coming out from under the parapet. Don’t do it. 


I don’t know what you are talking about. 


No. But I am confident in your abilities to not punish people just keeping their head above water. Pauses Give them what they need. Surprise them. 


I thought you thought we were all water barons out to steal the water of the people


Smiles   You’re just going to have to find a way to give it back to them. Litigation in the courts over toxic residue. Imagine that global trend. 


What I always liked about foreign fields is that they were foreign. And the foreigners who went there were reliable. 


Brave New World. Must be frightening for the automobile club. 


Yes. Precisely. 



(Heads on grass, face up) 


Do you think I am some sort of Wharton figure? A sort of Howard’s End thing, not understanding the change in climate? 


I would never accuse you of not understanding a change in climate. I think you are confusing Remain’s of the Day with Howard’s End.


Well that depends on your reading. 


Have you done anything lately? Like read the Congressional reports? 


What would be the point of reading about how bad China is? If I’m not on the ground, it’s virtually pointless. When you’re on the ground, there are seventeen layers that suddenly come to you and soak into your skin and it becomes clear. Much clearer than say, looking at art in a book. You can see the brush and then you…and then you think about it until it becomes firm. I mean, if you were serious you’d be in Beijing anywhere just banging down business until you got the look in. 


There are plenty of podcasts. 


Yes, if you like the sound of your voice. It’s very self important isn’t it. I shall create a tableau of projects to add to my bow and thus remain eternally relevant. 


You’d love it. Gets up


Are you off to Japan? 




Well the skiing is going to be good. 


Excellent. Promise me you won’t hurtle into exotic domains and frighten the locals 


I promise to wear any interference lightly 


I don’t believe you 


Neither do I. 


No more striking either. 


No. No more facile lovers. 


Deal. They hug 


Get some new clothes. You’re malting. 


Oh it is my camouflage prior to mating. I’m a hedgehog you see. 


I don’t think you have a clue what you are talking about. I sat next to you in science in 7A. 


Smiles, cycles off 




The Lodge is not happy 


That’s like Jabba the Hut de-friending you. 


Yes but 


It is a tin humpy on a glorified piece of real estate. Prime Minister’s come and go.


I think 


Sorry are we talking about a message I got about Jackson Hole while staying in Jackson Street that has been coded to suggest that Canberra doesn’t think I will get a return on my services? Because that’s like using the term ‘climate change’. Or ‘global warming’. I got it the first time. 




And what? That could change in a second. People run countries. Not Prime Minister’s. 


I beg to 


Ah, in defence of the advisor. Always the most paramount interest don’t you think? 


Leader’s must be tested 


Humiliating an individual is just humiliation. Stop protecting yourselves. Protect the population. 


Taps finger 


What? I’m not going to discuss the camouflage in the North. Puts book down. What do they want me to say? ‘I saw men in camouflage that clearly are being trained by someone in an area known for demanding independence.’ Too subtle I imagine. 




Why do you want me to discuss it? I haven’t finished assessing the elements within the borders. 


Then if you could kindly do so.


If you tell me the benefit to the local population, I’ll discuss it. Do they get more money? Is it proxy power play by stealth? 


I thought you cared about lives. 


Exactly. You know the Balkans was broken up. Tell me, who has benefited? Albanians for sure. Have Western interests prevailed? What about the coastline? Who cares about Islamic lives if they are always the props used for the next move into a heartland? Yes. You heard me. 


Most journalists would kill for the knowledge you have. 


No. I don’t have knowledge. I have a sequence of events and certain evidence that suggests a whole range of security scenarios that someone wants me to write about. Either, to end my career or prop it up. Neither particularly helpful if you are trying to make the right decision. 


Perhaps they were trying to help you. 


When I can discern whether or not there is an asset of incredible military value inside the borders of Tigray, I will tell you whether or not I wish to discuss the independence issue. Now please leave me alone. You’ll have to cool those military heels for a bit. 



Is that it? 


It’s a cracker. Moscow and Ethiopia working together within the borders of the darling US child with direct flights to Washington? Hell yeah. Bloody love it. 


I mean, it is background. 


Who cares. Now that my friend, that my friend, that is a taste of a brilliant story. I’m telling you. 8% growth on top of everything else going on? 


I think you just caught your parents having sex. I am not sure everyone needs to know about it. 


You’ve got Chinese factories, sugar, an independence yarn, railway strait to the port, ‘energy pipeline’ to the coast. Popular PM, relocations, a massive new dam, a dead head engineer – shot in broad daylight – new African Union HQ, the UN, young population, Rasta heartland, Christian devotees and divine landscape. The shots would be spectacular. It doesn’t hurt that there are some fine photogenic individuals also around the joint. 


Get your tongue off the floor. 


But if ever there was an opportunity for the Holy child and Rasta 


I thought you were ushering in Marcus for Uncle. 


Multi-talented. Under renumerated. But multi-talented. 


I hear you bled like the Red Sea. Missed your opportunity it would seem. 


Oh not at all. Actually the politics of the Red Sea play into 


No. N-O. One at a time. Alright. Dig around. Present something coherent.


Moi? Cogent agent 99 at your service. 


Everyone just shoulder bump her this week. She’ll think you are African and our lives will be made infinitely more pleasurable. 




Do you think the women are going to make a difference? 


He’s building a bastard wall. have to. 


Is there some security issue I am missing? Is anyone using it for any other reason other than…..fleeing poverty.


Not that I know of. 


Well there has to be be something going on. You don’t build a wall because you want to. teenage boys have been detained and let go.


The usual. 






Imagine those now dependent on the good graces of a new government. How many are we talking worldwide? 


Keep you on the straight and narrow. 


And the tentacles formidable. We’ll be a minority soon. 


Nah. Nothing more pleasurable than keeping the bastards honest. People love it. Keeps them alive. 


Yes but unless it changes policy and this heat is unbearable there is no bloody point. I’d say policy vacuum but I am allergic to it. 




No, a vacuum.




Take it back 


Did anyone hear anything? I swear I heard 


You don’t know anything about Rome or Marcus, we are the tea bag. Not the sugar. Not the honey. The tea bag. 


You know I wonder about a society that likens it women to teabags. Don’t you? 


Cut it out. 


Nothing like a few historical references while you’ve got the British and the Yanks sailing their Perry dingy’s around the joint. Aren’t the Canadians railing against the Huawei bizzo oh quick while i am thinking of it, nice new episode of Pine Gap don’t you think? 


Your point? 


Moi? Nothing. Zeroooooo.


You’ve said zero about Huawei. 


What is there to say? Are we to be surprised that Canadian home owners like selling their houses to foreigners and opening their doors and then wait yes, try to reverse the policy once the power play is in. Funny. It reminds of another country. Somewhere. 


Not funny. 


Oh. My apologies. I wouldn’t dare point out that we are like most, financial mercenaries that enjoy the money but you know, on our terms. 


Look at the onerous loans that most of the world deal with when dealing with the other player. You can’t seriously compare it. It is not going to end well. You are protecting a power that 


That story isn’t finished yet so I am assuming a few more plot developments. I am assuming with the Islamic prisons in the West you have gone with a ‘the Chinese are the Germans’ scenario? Sorry, I seem to think about it in strategic terms. How silly of me. Fancy the Africans dealing with the Chinese. Must be disheartening after all you’ve done for them. 


I am just about sick of your little witticisms 


And I thought I was the tea bag. Are you running the human rights charge against the Chinese arrest? 


Naturally we are and you are the prime individual to benefit you pimply arsed moron because if we don’t fight it any discussion of what they are doing in Africa is going to be bloody difficult for you. Can you even conceive of how normal people have to operate in this landscape? 


I am extremely aware of all that has been done for me. The sex has been exhilarating. 


You don’t seem to understand 


I understand very well. Nothing like legal definitions when debating whether or not to endanger the lovely little folk of Asia. You know, one would have to ask what the Catholics believe in. Filipinos and Mexicans. You know, first they are bastardised by the Spanish, then the Americans, then they exit post haste for wealthy countries so they can actually survive. And then, they await deliberations from lawyers about whether or not they might survive geo-political competition. 


You know you are in no position to judge.


Precisely. But let’s think about it for a moment this week while we’ve parade around with our ‘capability’. Everyone hates Duterte. But I hear him talk a lot of sense. If they stuff it up, like Taiwan, they might have a bit to lose. Something other countries in the region with more favourable geography might think about.


Being a contrarian serves no purpose.


I have to disagree. 



Yeah tariffs, who knew. 


So I went to one of the tariff hearings.


I mean, I would have liked to go to all of them really. But I don’t live in DC and it was really hot and stuff. And I hate sitting down so….you know.


I was more excited about a pic in front of the teamsters office. Jimmy Hoffa’s son still runs the joint!!




Lucky I didn’t head down to the Baltimore dock and Wire me up some water/air samples. Because that is going to make me popular. 


However, back to the pencil skirt and pad stuff. Is one day of hearings enough to get an idea of the proceedings here? 




That said, here is what Bobble Head learnt from listening to people support or not support the tariffs: 


—  it would be a real drag if you setting up a biz and your cheap manufacturing base was suddenly taken from you. 


— the idea is that alternatives are to be found in the US. As in, source it somewhere here people. That was BIG. YUGE.


— Um, some people were coached by their Chinese company owners so that wasn’t popular. See cranky frowns from USTR dude/ettes on the other side.


— There was one or two people that were in support of the tariffs. Majority not. 


— There is a mink trade in this country? You are kidding me. 


— The problem seemed to be with the definition of goods that were deemed to involve ‘technology’ transfer and intell property. Most seemed to think their products not in anyway able to be used for dual tech purpose. 


— Well…….there was a really interesting chemical company and what they do I am not really sure but involved chemicals and fertiliser and, my bet is that one is as colourful as flock.


Oh what I wouldn’t do if I could find out the shell company and the parent company and then the shipping codes and then the merchandise and then what was delivered….oh yeah.


But that is totally unsubstantiated so I am not going to be Alan Jones.




Anyway, the upshot here is: 


—  like the Hurricane, the whole thing was downgraded so you know, 10% and all that. 


 — it would be really good to be in Washington because then you would know stuff. 


— Don King has been asked to tone down both Serena’s PR and China/US biffo because it is currently looking like receipts are coming directly from the prospect of biff as opposed to actual biffo. 


Serena didn’t even touch her.


Why was she crying? 


OR: nothing like a good old trade fight to stir things up and forget the Endless Wars.


Comprendez peeps? 


That’s The Weekly Brief for the Briefless.


Next, we look at why Mussies are being shipped off to islands by Buddhists who revere a monk who says we have to be actively politically engaged. 


Thanks DL.





Trees. White blur. Blue sky. 


v/o of exchange between man and young female


Slowly move your eyes that way.  And that.  What can you see?


Stuff. Grass. Sky.


When was the last time you had sex? 


Six years ago.


A relationship? 


The same.


Tell me the last time someone said something positive. In your view.


Recently. My sister. 


And how do you feel about that? 


She’s my sister. 


Are you telling me the truth? 




Why not? 


I can’t think of a reason to. 






In bed. Female S and Male. 


What are you up to? 




You are.




Where are you going?




What are you going to nowhere for? 


A change.








Train. Music. Headphones. Passes suburbs. TV at station. ‘Extremists. Syria. Blah Blah. She looks up. Looks away. Hip Hop blaring. Kids playing on train. School uniform. She glances them as they pass in the aisle. Looks back out window.




Children scenes. 


S picked up from train station by sister and car of young kids. Piggy backs. Pillow fights.


Bed jumping. Teeth brushing. Bed. Book reading. 


Good-bye scene kids/sister. 




Packs up home. 


Telephone conversation. 


Yeah. Sure. No. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. 




Bathroom. S and man. Man speaking.


Are these the ears that God gave you?


Is this the nose that God gave you? 


Did Jacob bring you these teeth? 


I smell Allah right here. 


Oh an agnostic mole….


Mirror. Hug. She’s uncomfortable. Half smile.




Taxi scene/Airport.


Waiting on the side of the road. Runs back in. Grabs something. Rain. Looking out rear. Suburbs. Just her eyes. Check in. Eating at the airport. Watching. Flicks through mags. Moves things around in a book shop.




Arrival scene. 


Bags being checked. Security and her checking each other out. 


Check in scene hotel. Reception.


Yes. Just two nights. Oh yes. Hands over passport. Oh ok. Great. Thanks for that. 


Takes bags upstairs. Sits on the side of the bed after unpacking. Watch her unpack. Arranges things neatly in bathroom and cupboard. Particular. Looks out window of high rise hotel.




Taxi. Middle Eastern country.


Where would you like to go?


Quickly skims travel book.


The Mosque.


Where are you from?




Australia. Yes. Yes. Appears pre-occupied. Looks out window. Other world. Radio music playing. 


Drop me off here if you can. Pays. Thanks. Thanks. 


We see her at resplendent mosque. It dwarfs her and she walks around amongst tourists. Scene getting dressed. We see her look at the inlay and discover the walls. She is in another world. She looks around. Thinks a bit. Hails a taxi. 


Ah can you take me to the new bit. The museums.






Scenes outside window. Watch her move her hands. Cross legs. Cut to front seat. Him looking at her in rear vision. Drops her off.


Can you stay here for a bit?


Sure no problem. How long? 


Half an hour. 




No problem. 






Moves around new modernist museum. Touches things. Looks at art. Sly jokes with the security guards. Gets to the bookshop and turns around. Goes out the doors. Taxi drives up.


Let’s have a look around.




Drives up to luxurious hotel. 


I used to work here. 




Do you want to have a look?


Not really. Lets just go through.


They check out the large lobby, extensive gardens, patrons getting into cars. 


Yeah thanks that might be enough. 






He turns car music up loudly. Hip hop. We see her smile for the first time. Closes her eyes. 


Great music.


He turns it up. Smiles. 


What’s your name? 




She nods smiling eyes closed 




Labourers in heat. She is talking to driver in car. 


Well someone is building all this. You guys right? 


My Dad had a lifetime visa and he gave it to me. 


How many of you in the accommodation? 


Eight to a room. 




She turns and looks out into the dark. People moving about getting on buses. 


It would be hot right? 




How much do you get paid?


Mutters amount 


Jesus fucking Christ 


Pulls face. See her driving through the early morning, near the airfield, and past the luxury villas.


Lots of British here.


And Australians. The history right. The British were here, right? Good wages. Nice villas.


Very nice. 


Did you see the Palace?


Beautiful. I saw it across the water. 


You like Abu Dhabi?


Yes. It is very quiet. 


It is where the money is. Old families. Where are you staying? 




Very nice.  You want to ride on a camel?


No thanks. But if you know where the airfield is let me know


He looks at her and then rings someone on his phone. They talk for a bit. 


What do you do? 


She looks at him. 


They travel in silence.Views of the houses as they head to hotel. 


See her dropped off. 


Walks to hotel beach. Swims. Lies in sun. Mosque across water etc. Close up face looking up into sun. Crinkled. Pensive. Observing those around her staff etc. Waiters. Music as background. Earphones in one ear. Explodes into sound. Contrast with surrounds. She and black waiter look at each other and away.




Early morning chauffeured car.


No I want to go here


There? What for?


I just want a look.


There’s nothing to see.


Just a look. 




Stop here. Why aren’t we on the other road? 


It’s quicker this way.


I want to go on the old one. 


This is quickest. 


But it isn’t the new highway


I am telling you 


It is taking longer.


View her looking at poles, consulting a map.


You should stop here.


I don’t want to. 


It is where all the Russians


No. I want to go further down.


Why do you want to come here?


Good view. 


See her in the viewing castle on the right side. Looking over the mouth of the Gulf. 


I am going to stay here. 


They argue over money. He leaves in a huff. She hires a car. We watch her fill car at petrol station and move around the new pipeline area. Stops. Takes notes. Checks maps on iPad. Battery goes flat. Shakes her head. Buys paper map and consults regularly. 




See her check into nice hotel. looking over Gulf. View of the lights at night. She sits and drinks wine looking out over Gulf. Rubs her face. Content. Exhausted.




Bathing in the sea the next morning. Water. Light. She looks long over glistening water. This is all slow languid, contrast to her other behaviour. Ships moving slowly behind her.




See her putting pictures together of the Persian Gulf pipelines. Tents in the dust as she drives. Looks in rear vision mirror. Stops. Consults map. Keeps driving.


Looks at map of Oman and South Farujah.




Getting off plane. Bahrain. Straight to museum. Touches the map floor. She is looking for something. See her at mosque. Fatima writes Koran inscription in her Koran. They smile at one another.


Argues with driver.


Let me have a look. Why did you take me this way, I wanted to go around this way. 


Looks back at naval base


No, I don’t want to I need to get into the interior. 




Arrives hotel. See them looking under cars for bombs, arrival of VIP’s in cars in hotel. 


Naval Cadets graduation. In hotel lobby. She looks at the whole scene. Families etc. 


Goes to room. Looks out over pool. Opens balcony. Rests chin on rail. Watches water until it goes dark. Again, savouring the view, almost proximity to water. 




See her amongst oil biz/interior in car. On highway. Bumping around in taxis, throwing out orders where to turn etc. Reality of excavation. 




Sobbing uncontrolled by pool. Face covered with towel.




Scene bubble bath. 


Head under. 


Looks immersed in thought. Perplexed.  Runs hands over side of bath. Can see view of Gulf from bath.




Christmas Day. Hotel. Young man ushers her into car.


Welcome to Qatar.


Thankyou. And your name is? 




Isa. Can you just follow those trucks for a bit I need to see a few things. 


Looking very much like Jude in Passage To bumps around in a little car around area, base. Laughing as they go one way, hit a roadblock, go past a base, on beach with locals, eating dust. Talking as they drive. How many kids etc married etc. He is bemused/amused looking at her.


Would you like to look at the Canals? 


Canals? Sure. Tomorrow. I’m just a bit beat today.


Checks into hotel. No hot water.


Cock sucking jerks. 


Storms down to reception.


Two girls behind her.


Subtitles: Merry Xmas sweetness. They laugh. I have never seen a European before. Laugh again. She gives them a dirty look. Mutters 


Go fuck yourself arseholes.


Woman at reception interrupts 


Madam we have upgraded you to a better room.


She looks uncomfortable after the last exchange. 




Goes back to room. Has a massive room with a view of the city. Collapses on bed. Looks to ceiling in thought. Wrestling with the contradictions.


Lies awake trying to work it out. 




Isa waits for her patiently outside the hotel next morning.




Yes. She is wearing a pantsuit, silk top and flat shoes.


Views of them around the city. New built area, canal, taking photos, shopping centre, base, workers on the public works, bus shelter, eating near bus shelter, gold market etc, old mosque, Museum of Islamic Art. 


See them sitting out looking over water as sun goes down. 


Do you need anything else?


No. That was fantastic. Thankyou. 


Children riding past on bikes. Green vibrant grass. Families, tourists etc.


I hope we could help you in some way.


She smiles. Looks away. 


Thanks. I learnt alot. Thanks for taking me


It’s no problem. 


They pack up and slowly fades with lights of water/city.




Cut to breakfast view just of waiter. S asking questions. Sumptuous spread. She is very much the privileged guest.


His face view. Fills screen.


muffled question


and i come here oh I am from I think it is oh you must go it has the best food. really wonderful fruit. and there is alot of happening. 


muffled question


Oh yes we know all about him you know about our batsman very good and he has been smart because 


Loud noise plane goes over. They stop. She stares as it moves through sky. 


audible question


Do you like it here? Good tips? 


They smile. 




Travelling by car through Iran. Large rocks. Dry. Goes past Bushrer. Talks to guys fishing. Gets pulled up by police.


Where are you from? Take me to Shiraz. Travelling huh? What are you doing on this back road? Having a look. Alright you can go. Laughs. 


She looks at the fishing boats moving quietly on the pier near Bushrer.


Later: twighlight


South Pars father, son and grandfather on beach having dinner/tea. Beach. She is in car watching. She looks over to North Pars and there is flashback of her driving up to those gates across water.




See her driving in the dark through gas oil areas. South Pars/Iran. Very dramatic. Hades feel to it.  Lights. Gets lost. Getting frantic as getting darker. No petrol and trying to find way off highway.




Hey is there anywhere I can sleep around here? 


Men on motorbikes. Small town. Sure. Sure. Follow me. Take her to an old house. Wait here. She waits unsure what is about to happen.


Man This is Mayor 


Man with smiling face puts his head in window. 


Follow me


Takes her through winding streets to his house. 


She waits as they prepare food. They sit together with young boy and girl and eat. Western TV on in the background. Little conversation as she doesn’t speak Farsi and he doesn’t speak English. The wife takes a photo of her and smiles. She is unsure whether this is for security purposes.





Subway. Dubai. Getting off. Looking at maps. Laughter from the carriages. Gets off. 


Crowd at Xmas Eve Mass. In garage. Watch service. She walks back and catches water taxis to old area and then gets off. Walking through diplomatic area.


You want a ride?


Sure. Where are you from? 


Damascus. Syria. 


v/o as she is looking out window and the latest attack in Syria…Western intervention 


Anything I can do  


hands her a card




Looks at him as he drives off in battered car. 




Phone conversation in hotel 


It’s terrible about Syria.




She is quickly trying draw on maps 


What did you do Christmas Day?


Went to the races.  


Flashback horses around field early morning


I hope that’s not all


I was up early


Flashback endurance vets etc lobby


See her looking at map Turkey/Kurds/Syria and then back into region she is in.


Are you meeting anyone?


Yes. Some nice people.


Flashback: taxi drivers, hotel reception – your hotel has been paid for. She looks around wondering who paid for it.


Image comes through from home at Christmas feast, kids, pull faces, kisses computer. 


Bye Bye eat some chocolate flummery for me




Phone conversation later. V/O as she is walking through large shopping centre in city, labourers building outside glass skyway


Can you explain


No I can’t.


Why is it important


I don’t really see why


Where will you


I don’t know




Half crooked smile, grimace. She looks uncomfortable in the surrounds and awkwardly leaves. Bag half thrown around the shoulder. Ends conversation.


Looks out onto street. Just see road and traffic. Hear the sound of her footsteps on the pavement. People on phones, linking arms, gossiping, young women walking. 






Dancing. Nightclub. 




See her panting on bed. Alone. Face. Sound of the panting is deafening. Like a throb. Hear the throb of the heart. Hands shaking. Fade to black.




Family celebration.Flashback. Country home. Marquee. 






Greetings. Hugs.


He’s doing extremely well


Third on the way


Assistant director at this small theatre


I don’t know how she juggles it all 


They’ve bought up property on the Northern side of


Yeah I mean I think it is all part of the Northern 


How much did you get for that? 


The problem was when they started selling the national 


The poles and wires 


And then to top it all off they have to decide how to divide the property between 


She’s better now, in remission and they have trained nurses 


Oh thank goodness


They’ve got this massive forward pack




So then he goes to get the tractor out and bogs the new truck




I saw you last night


It was a ghost


I think he will be alright 


Does she need glasses because 




Oh shit no 


Because god isn’t that a brutal wake-up


More laughter


And then when he turned around I took off




Only forty k’s  


Oh it’s ridiculous 


And then he had the audacity to say 


How the hell are people going to travel that far? 


The roses look fantastic mine always look like someone dragged a bag over 


We’ll drain the pool


I might as well I’m the only one who cleans it 


Tell me about it


Did you get to the wedding in Dubai? 


Nothing out there. Bloody sand! 


Burj Khalifa with all your mates 


Apparently with links to the royal family 


Bullshit. She’s probably a maid from Sri Lanka with Russian connections 


Only 2000 in the immediate family 


Mum! The kids need nose jobs! 


You’re a bunch of uneducated 


Need to build a ski slope out here 


We’ll freeze the weir! 


Cold beer at the bottom. 


I’d go over but I’ll end up with a Filipino maid 


Great service 


His name is Manuel 






Cut to piano late at night. Everyone quietly listening, some packing up, singer joining in. Others join. Back to solo. Trails off. 


Slowly pack up say goodnight. 


It was such a great night 


No well I wouldn’t have done it without all the help I had and the people lucky we had that lamb because 


And those two arguing out there like two old men 


Didn’t have a beautiful voice? I’m just so glad she’s got the confidence now to do it 


We’re a lucky lot 


I’m just glad they finally got rain 


And can’t you tell


Great to have you kids around 




Grave. Walks into country cemetery. Silos in background. She looks uncomfortable. Not sure what to do. Lies down. See sky POV. 


Dream sequence. Sister and S. Bed.


We had our differences


What differences (tears streaming down face) 


Don’t cry, it is her birthday 


Doctor’s office. Sister and S. 


So what do you I think I should do


What you should do?




I don’t know


Sister looks through her




Do you want some jelly




Kids laugh 


A shard


Ha a shard


Tears roll down face on bed close up. 





Country shop. S and owner. 




Hi gorgeous! Looking beautiful as per usual 


Now come on 


What are you eating out here? There must be a Swiss clinic out here


Oh yes 




What is he feeding you at home 


Work that’s what he is feeding me 


Five star women looking like European royalty 


Please. I went to this amazing concert just amazing playing with you know, the best in the world and we had these seats right in the middle 




And I said well why don’t we try and meet him backstage 


You didn’t 


And we managed to slip through the back and there he was! 


Oh my god 


So I said we come from this small town so would you like to join us for dinner 


Oh my god no! 


And so off we went to this small Italian in the side of the middle there right near the old basement and got home at 4am! 


You’ve got to be kidding me 


I mean seriously at my age! 


You loved every minute of it 


I had to tell you, I mean it’s not every day you get to hang with the best of the best 


You are too much 






Letting her out a bit too much I think


How did you manage that? 


And not only that, he actually played with her in Malaysia 




Choir. Backdrop. Kids. Adults visibly upset. 


Thin figure turns and looks. Her sister. 


She looks around. Slowly leaves. 


Driving out stops cars and bawls. 


Kid beside her not sure what to do. Zoom in on his face. 


She is bawling on wheel.




Scene of TV comedian humour/stand-up/play


S frowns. Walks away.


Why are you leaving? 


You sound like everyone else.




It just sounds like everything I have heard before. 


But I


I mean, if you want to use my IP while congratulating yourself on being the dramaturg of the Century go for it. 


What are you


Always so protective of you. 




You’re so cool. Don’t.


See her wearing leather jacket looks out into dark alone   


What do we get from all this coolness? I mean what do we get? 




Walks away




Cafe two women talking. S sitting beside them.


And you know I feel so alone. 




And the mortgage 


Yeah. The mortgage. 


You know the pressure




I just feel also that she didn’t really treat me like she should 




I mean, what did I do to her? She’s immature and we’re busy renovating the investment property that Craig bought  


Camera turns faces her. Looks through her. 


Voice becomes background she is just staring into the cold and wind. 




Oncology. Nurses. 


Come through.


Family history?


Sister. Aunt. Mother. 


I’m sorry.


I’m fine. 


Walks out. 


See her fold up clothes getting dressed.




Scene with mother


Where are you going? 


What would I go out for? 


I was just interested 




I heard there was a good film 




We’ll need to go over and sort out things tomorrow with 


Yes. Yes I know 


Because otherwise we won’t have time




They are doing good things and helping the people of  


Yes. Yes. 




See you tomorrow. Come up for breakfast.


half smiles 




Mutters to car. 


Hands shaking, body trembling storms to road. Tries to compose herself. Mutters driving in car. Yelling and silent monologue. Tears. 


I could smell the breeze. 

Salt wound its way through my hair and face. 

Spewed papers with pink scribble that had imprinted thoughts as to The Issues. 

It was grey that day. Grey and light streaks, clouds fighting over the hill, the hill that either did or did not have a transmitter. 

What does having a transmitter mean? 

I could have gone up and asked someone. I could have read something that led me to the understanding of the transmitter vs the humble satellite, a tin foil toy aeroplane rotating the skies.

It stuck out in its orange and red, the backdrop to my thrashing in rough surf, clouds racing each other as I would not. 

My toes were red visible as I lay on my back, whitewash flipping over the bikini that lies wet on my skin. 

Slight thoughts of the pink writ large. Mostly, head amongst the white wash. 

Legs hung out over the hammock, sitting the wrong way as if it were a child’s playground swing. Long slow strides in rhythm. 

Sandy freckled feet, covered as if thick protection for the surrounds. 

Back and forth, imaginary circles on the ground with the slight movement of a toe.

The slow walk back to the brown and white shape that was a bed and air. 

Nothing but fresh cool winds and a dirt track. 

Bamboo slats comfortable across the back, the afternoon kissed Pina Colada sullen. 

And then. 

Do you want to exist? 


Do you want to exist? 

She squinted up into the face. 

She paused for a moment, checked the round orbs hitting the rounds of flesh mid face and smiled 

She looked away. 

Not sure she said to the wind. 

Looking back just to catch his eye and they pulsed for a moment. 

He laughed. And sloughed off into midday heat that was lifting heavy light through the mud. 

She watched his attached legs lumber, his frame carving the space with ease. 

A Refrain. 


You never know. 

To be successful meant schedules and goals and real estate and taking very quickly while doing a forensic examination of what everyone else is doing and keeping up and knowing the latest thing making waves and she could do all that. 

If she wanted. 

Voice overs and talent agents and writing jobs and a partner and a lover and sweat and fuck she couldn’t remember the last time she had one. 

Unfucking believable. 

Where was she. 

Oh yeah 

If you had to describe the way the day forced its way on you and left you sweating wet balls like some half Pygmy shit bag you’d have to say the day was ombré. 

Like a Spanish painting of long black shadows and howling dogs, a Drysdale stick figure stuck to landscape because to move would cause you to fall to the ground rendered useless. 

A Keating tilt at the landscape all arms and nose and langoured torso thrashing about at the thought of being pinned down by the sheer banality of it all. 

She hated fucking Drysdale. 

And she hated this heat. 

I need a boat. 

A small smile returned with interest. 


Yes today. 

Would you like to do a tour? 


She smiled broadly and checked the name tag. Liked to guess the meaning behind the black strokes. She checked out the curly hair in a tight bun and the strong shoulders staring back. 

You can go this afternoon. 


And with that she plunged into the cesspit of tourist activity that made her sweaty and nauseous. 

Prefer to barf dog legs. 

It showed with every move her frame made. 

How come I can’t be part of some famous cabal that writes about each other? 


You know. Famous people that get together. Decide stuff. Then pretend they don’t know what is about to happen.  

No. You cannot. 


You don’t know anyone. 

I do know some people. 

No-one is going to tell you shit. 

Maybe in a previous life I was an ancient goddess that carried the wind 


What is the percentage of people that eat kale chips? 

You mean really or 

Like, 2 percent? 



That doesn’t mean it’s not going to be massive. No-one ate muesli in the 60’s 

Who eats kale chips? 

I do. 

Suck up. 

Or just genius 

You’re a try hard tosser. No-one will love you. 

Thank you. 

Did you clean your house today? 


When you die, you will have spent more time cleaning your toilet bowl than touching the opposite sex. Do you know how immoral that is? 

Bacterially conscious. 

Fuck me. It’s distressing. I’m trying to work out how the Shia-Sunni fault lines feed into the 21st Century and you’re making sure cleanliness makes you another 20k. 

Close to 

Wanker. I hate you people. You’re going to end up friends with the fame cabal.


The ride wasn’t a complete waste of time. If it wasn’t for ten thousand other humans heaving in mass she’d probably love it. 

She put her hands in the water lay back against the helm. Thought of the bushes and the tracks weaving in and out, the no roads and the maybe roads, the breeze as it lifted you up where you could see the lines across the shore before the mountains butted in carving serious intent. 

Clooooooock. Camera to your right.

Two lanky German frames opposite.

Why do intelligent people do totally useless things that make them think they are on some secret mission to save the world.  

Blond long hair for her. Short grins for him. 

Go choke on a sexually transmitted disease 

She could push them overboard as her large foot did rest neatly astride their canvas ‘tote’ that also wore a generic millennial earthy-child-of-the-earth-but-love-money air. 

No-one would miss them. Surely to god. Only perhaps their first spouse that they found at 18. 

In a real love true moment saving it all for you. 

Please let them be chained together for life.

They deserved it. 

Screen Shot 2016-02-08 at 3.04.10 pm


Listen, I could wait around for someone to give the big tick.

You know, green light my program, doco, whatever. But by that time I’ll be shrivelled camels dick because if there is something people love, it is pretending that good things take forever.
It doesn’t take forever. Jesus. Bunch of goddam lawyers scared you’re going to hurt someone by simply spelling it out lunatic.
Spelling it out. 
Can I help it if people are idiots and I can think and type at the same time? Not my bloody problem, is it? 
I still don’t know what the hell is going on in Syria but I can have a good guess. I mean, I can’t talk about it until I see the tents. Like I saw the gas in Iran. I mean, you see that shit and you go, oh, I get it. Get it? 
What the hell I gotta do sixteen degrees for and try and convince someone in some capital city that actually, my ideas aren’t half bad. What for? What for? No point to that. You just Michael Caine the career out and at the end, it either worked or it didn’t. He ended up with a good looking chick on his arm so I reckon I can do it. 
Gunmen, defence attaches, refugees, dickheads yeah, I can do them all and just wait. I already got enough degrees for twenty professional footballers and they still grill you out like you’re a dumb blonde just waiting for some advice.
Here’s some advice. 
I’ll do what I want. 
I’m not building shitboxes the size of a postage stamp and raping the bastards dry, am I? 
So you know, you’re walking through Myanmar Burma whatever and you’re thinking, what the hell happened here? 
I mean literally, what the hell happened here? 
You get the distinct feeling that the English just pissed off out of here and left them to it. 
What are the going to do with these buildings? You know what they are going to do with those buildings? They’re going to restore them. And then the whole project of the other or something has finished. They’re not going to just march on in, but who do you think will provide the funds for small countries to ‘refresh’ sounds like a mouthwash to me. 
Tourists are already through the joint and I don’t have to be another little ant desperate for some gold dust to make my life better. Sweet Jesus I liked it but I’m not sure trapsing around someone else’s country in the heat helps. I mean it helps but well, there has to be more. You think I want to look at poor people my whole life? Jesus. Enough to poke your eyes out with a stick. Just thinking about what they’ve got ahead makes me tired.
Yeah, I need a nap. 
I mean you could fall asleep saying Myanmar, know what I mean? 
I love naps. 
People aren’t big on sleeping but Europe has been sleeping for decades. All that siesta stuff. They just knock off and when they need someone to back them up, presto, the Yanks are suddenly de jure.
Let me tell you about the Crimea. 
First, as we all know, it has crime in the name. Now, I don’t know who named it or why they named it and I am not sure I’d be wanting to own a place called Crimea, but that’s the way it is in the 21st Century. 
Have it. Seriously. 
If you get a big red texta and work out Russia v America v China v Mussies v I don’t know, you’re going to end up with a big fat headache. Take a Panadol. Invest. Sleep. Eat. Get nude. 
This is someone else’s problem. Make it someone else’s problem because sure as shit someone in the State Department or ONA is going to love having it as their problem. They love this stuff. They know this stuff. They went to Harvard or ANU and they know everyone and they get off on on knowing what is knowable. Comprendez peeps? 
You take this away from them, they got nothing. It’s like asking Kangaroo land here to ween itself off the Asian tit. There is going to be a fight on your hands. It doesn’t matter because we got it best both world’s didn’t we, and we didn’t even have to give up an empire. 
So you see what I mean? New worlds are still winning my friend. 
Are you following me? 
Because I am not going to repeat this. You can either follow or sink into the tide of the beige. Fall into the beige and you have forfeited your right to fashion my friend. 
Yeah, fashion. 
You take two people. 
One decides they’re going to wear the red guernsey. The second the yellow. You think it matters which colour they choose? 
Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter at all. 
Me, I’m like what did Julie Bishop say, who is making the money. I am not thinking – she is wearing a yellow top. He is wearing a red hat. Catch my drift? I’m thinking I can either buy a whole building or not. If I buy a whole building and I get really rich, I can just hand it over to the refugees. Make my money, 40 years down the track, hand over the building, picture in the paper and gonzo, I’m a living breathing saint. I’ve out Clinton’ed the Clintons. 
Well I haven’t but you know what I mean. I mean, that is a behemoth that one. That is a classy act of philanthropy if I ever have seen it and god knows they mean it. You should be taking notes. The Democrats have rolled those Republicans and they don’t even know it. You want Rome? You’ve already got Rome. There are rich people acting like regular little Saints so you can’t beat that game. 
What have you got to criticise? Nuthin’. And they mean it. They’ve been on the other side of one too many times and they don’t like it. 
Not at all. 
Why I say, you tell a kid he can’t do it, he’ll just fight until he does. Might as well harness the magic sweetpea and enjoy the ride. Whose he going to blame if it turns to turd? laughs 
He’s going to say you told me so. It’s not pretty but it helps when he next wants to kick someone’s head in. He’ll think about it. 
Speaking of independence. And dirt patches. 
Let’s say, you’re head of surveillance in the known world. I mean, think about it. There is someone right? And you’re thinking what the hell am I going to do with all this? What am I going to do? 
First of all, you pick off the easy targets. The guys doing dodgy crap thinking they can get away with it. Some half arsed guy trying to smuggle alcohol, skim off some electronic scam etc etc. Some idiot in federal deals with that and god knows, the coppers know about it, stealing stuff and generally just milking someone until they push it too far and get caught. 
And then, you get to the people you know doing dodgy stuff but you know them and they aren’t your friends right but you know them. So, you’re like listen. Either you do it this way or we blow it open. You sit them down, have some sushi and make the words matter. Just be careful and don’t try anything stupid you know? I mean, we have already decided the contracts for that so trying something dodgy isn’t going to work.
And then lastly, you got the people who know how to get around you. They are probably your boss. Your friends. Some gazillionaire who is working overtime to circumvent the possibility of anyone knowing anything and loves simply the process of making you look like an idiot. You have another team that works solely on these guys. Knows how far they have got, what they are hiding and you just play it for whatever you like with the head honchos of the world. I dunno, Paul Allen, Rupert who knows. The guys behind these guys. 
That keeps you pretty busy. You don’t always act on it because let’s face it, it’s not always in everyone’s interest to know everything.
So just sit there. Imagine this for a moment. 
Then tell me why they would bother with little old Dulcie ripping it up over the small matter of international cahoots and I gotta say something.
They have been pissing money up a wall. 
That’s funny as fuck. 
Makes you laugh till your face falls off. 
Listen, they want someone to go down so that we all get scared right? I mean, scared what we say and stuff like anyone cares.
You think anyone cares? 
No-one cares what we say. They know we’re taking the piss and  we’re taking the piss to make a point so what would be the point of getting your back up? 
Old Nicky boy got done because they had a mike on the bastard. Before that they probably sorted it out on the court or off the court. Footballers getting done because someone shows it. 
You think I care about what these boys do? They got another ten years before they get hit with the reality stick and then they sober up real fast and are walking around clean cut having babies. Won’t even think about anything that doesn’t resemble wholesome family organic quinoa. 
It’s boring doing them in for being cocky. That’s like calling out the five year old liar. 
What isn’t boring is change though. Fast furious change and we know that they know that so don’t be distracted. You get distracted and you’ll lose where you were headed. Just nod and then piss off.
Nothing worse than people older than you telling you to slow down. They want you to slow down because they are slow as fuck but when they were your age, they didn’t miss a beat. 
Be careful of the elders. 
Sometimes they’re as scared as we are because they don’t understand. And I get that. Sometimes, I don’t understand but i am still breathing. Nothing worse than having to stop breathing because someone else thinks it is the right thing to do.
What’s the right thing to do? 
We all know that. 
We’re not stupid. 
We’re animals with a conscience. 
Yeah, so I was saying, until you drop on in, hard to say isn’t it.
Hard to say. 
Hard to pick and say, well this doesn’t look good. 
Dopey would be half cut and he could still work out that things weren’t kosher in some of these places right? 
No, there is work to be done my friend. And i get it takes time. Yeah, I get that. 
But shit. One look at those oceans and I’m just going to start ringing people. That’s a certifiable health hazard right there. I’m not afraid. And I am sure as shit not swimming in it. So there goes the tourism money. 
Not brain surgery is it. 
Christ, not that the Thames would be any better. 
Yeah, that’s for sure. 
What the fuck goes on is anybody’s guess. 




I saw the Chinese port in Sri Lanka.

I mean, I saw it a bit. They won’t let you look at it too much but you can see it. 
And it’s huge. 
The roads were all smooth and tough, arteries into the chaotic laneways abutting the ocean. Thought I had won the lottery staying at hotel with Russians thick on the ground my friend.
I saw the port and I saw the cricket stadium. What’s wrong with that stadium? Bloody loved it. Now that’s a cricket stadium.
I saw the big airport. 
No-one there at the moment but don’t be fooled. You don’t build something like that and then mothball the bastard. This wild piece of building coming out of humid heat and countryside. Elephant signs and monkeys on the road. Packed buses and towns, surf and lakeside. 
Didn’t see one tea plantation. Too busy with my head out the window trying to sink into it. Staying close to the breeze. Wove my way around trying to work out the best road to see the construction around the thing y’know?
Because you hear so much about these things. You think, if you only knew how much I knew about you before I laid eyes on you. Louvre got nothing on geo-political outposts I have heard about. I don’t even know if they exist. 
So I like to just stand there and check it out. 
Like to make up theories as to why they are building and why we can’t see it. 
Like to look at the tourists and wonder why the Ruskies are in town. You can’t say things like ‘they might be spies’ because with the headlines the way they are, might just be true. 
Weird as shit. I cannot work out if this is a Christian thing or a ForPol thing and let’s be frank, probably best I don’t know.
Not that they’d tell you anyway and how long you got on this earth to stuff around asking people something they aren’t going to answer in the first place? 
Got to do backflips in the warm ocean laughing at the idiots trying to do you in. Private conversations with satellites. Sly smiles cornering the mouth.
Coast lines and navies and discussions and navies and India and Sri Lanka and a bride dressed to the nines, wasn’t that the icing on the cake. Nearly wet my pants. 
That’s what a good hotel gets you. A defence attache with bridal ceremonies. A waiter who spills the beans on the China stuff.
I love you, I mouth internally. I love you so much. 
Mad bastards drive like lunatics if only I had known that half the known world drive like mad men I wouldn’t feel so bad when I floored it. I floored it. I think the narrow misses are the best.
Goddam monkeys on the road and washing at sunset and clean uniforms white white white big smiles and how the hell do they keep those clean? 
Quiet afternoons and the cicada twilight avoiding the other mobs. Couldn’t look at a chained elephant. What would you chain an elephant for? 
Anyway, I was there for the port. But I couldn’t officially ask about it so that unofficially is a pain but I’ll go back and because I had me juices up and I loved it.
You get that wild thing where you and this are gloriously a thing. 
BTW jesus, did Britain just do the Harold Holt in Asia? Colonial buildings, crumbling edifices and then bam – smack bang over the top – the local flavour. Saved them $ no doubt but jesus. Scared the shit out of me in Yangon. 
Civilisations build these massive piles of infrastructure and then whammo, everything changes in an instance and they sit like hollow birthday cakes. Like white ornamental wedding piles waiting for the consum-mation.
What about a fridge? Some oranges? A trip on a barge to the other side? 
Flat out existing at the moment. Fish and heat is going to tip me over the edge my friend. Dying in this heat. Wanna throw my guts up. Sure as shit got the European DNA can’t even do anything because my legs feel like someone ploughed me out. I haven’t even got an idiot partner in crime who you can blame for everything. An unsuspecting boyfriend. 
‘It was clearly your fault even though it was my idea and I make all the decisions’
They’ve got plants growing over the side of the tsunami-relief school though can’t see the name. What’s with that? I guess they moved people over and built stuff. Looks nice that school. Don’t know who is paying for it. 
Yeah, a regular demographic detective that’s me. 
As long as they are happy, right? 
Wondering about Colombo. Yeah, I am wondering about it and I don’t know what happened. Like a bit of paint to do the place up. Lessen the gap between fecund grasses, salt crash and brick hollows. Make those pretty school uniforms hit some regular locales. 
Wouldn’t you love to have that money.
I’d rule the world in a heartbeat.  

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