Hills. Cows. Telephone. Paddock.




OH MY DAHLING! Thank god, I thought I was stuck on this hill alone, but you Sat phone me. Where you at pumpernickel? 


Oh now calm down brown cow. 


Oh calm down. 


Problems? I got to get the Three Wise Snuffy’s into the shed with nobody seein’. 


They might have a gluten intolerance. I have to get them onto pulses. 


Don’t talk to me about pressure, I haven’t got the costumes for the nativity scene! 


Yeah, so they say. 


I dunno. I did tell you. You never listen to the Agnes. 


Yeah but the Sinai? You no like our desert? What’s wrong with it? 


Yeah I saw. 


Yeah I saw. 


Oh you get your khaki in a tizzle. 


Well maybe when you want to the rule the world, there is some downside possum heart. 


Didn’t you have your infra-red desert goggles? 


I packed them for you. In the side pocket. 


Well Daisy was a little rough this morning but I got her teat out of trouble. Again. 


Yeah, lucky I did that TAFE course or I’d be in real trouble. 


How is the Wandering going? Are we nearly there yet? Because I gotta tell you, I’m bored. There’s no car games. I made them all up and then messed them up and then made them again and then 


You need a Tesla. Bugger the Toyota. 


Yeah. Yeah. Well, that’s if you get rain. 


Really? With the fuzzy wuzzy’s? 


OMG! Real ones or NRL ones? 


For real? 


Shit. So tough being you. Seriously. They should give you a medal. 


Yeah it’s in your sock drawer. 


Um well I did have a few questions. 


Can you bring me home something big brown and carved?


Yeah I know darlin’ but then I met you. 


Well I wanna throw some tinsel over it for the Xmas decos. 


There’s no need to be like that. I was just being ethnographic. 


Are you anthromorphizing me? Because if you want to know, I am like a Lion. Roar. 


Ah, no, more like a praying mantis. We can’t all be good at everything darling. 


Oh c’mon. Don’t be shy! Not everyone can be a Snuffy!


Don’t be jealous. You have talents he doesn’t have. Besides, when you have important work like yours, someone has to be the Glitter that Falls Softly Over Your Face As You Wander Home. 


Yeah that’s me. The glitter. 


Anyway, this must be costing defence a fortune and you know how they like to stay within their means. So thrifty that lot.


Oh seriously! 


You’re kiddin’. 


Well if you need me to lay pipelines, I’ll lay pipe. There’s nothin’ I can’t do darlin’ for you. 


I’ll bring my Ventolin just in case. 


Got a call comin’ through, might be Hugh, gotta go.