Apologise 

 

I’m not apologising 

 

Apologise now 

 

Why? I don’t want to 

 

You apologise now there are talks between the Syrian powers and you’ll damn well apologise! 

 

I don’t have to apologise. They know what I think. What do I have to apologise for? 

 

You will be more respectful you bloody know the allegiances you know the history 

 

Oh der 

 

Don’t der me! You useless  

 

Why do I always have to apologise? Those Iranians are up to their eyeballs 

 

That is not the point. Stop being a pain in the arse! It is embarrassing 

 

But how come they always get to complain? They complain all the time 

 

Maybe they have something to complain about! 

 

The Europeans are egging them on and you know it. They’re still smarting over the loss of prestige and might from a gazillion years ago so they egg it all on! 

 

Bullshit. How do you know that? 

 

They do. Meddling little bastards. Nothing else to do. 

 

The point is Syria 

 

It’s like South Africa, Britain, Australia and New Zealand arguing about rugby. They’re all bloody Commonwealth countries! I mean seriously. Christ another year of this and ASEAN. It’d do your gonads in.

 

You don’t have gonads

 

The YPG the KZY the DLF it’s not exactly clear what the hell we’re dealing with! And that

 

Perhaps they’re trying to warn you of the perils of 

 

Rack off! They just want me to run some pro-Russian line. There isn’t a global interest not represented in that unholy quagmire. Give me a break 

 

You don’t know that 

 

No but I will. It won’t be hard! 

 

Sure Miss Marple. Just try to temper a bit of that language as you remember walking off a plane with a blanket on your head. If I remember correctly you were saved by a certain member of your own diplomatic 

 

Shut up 

 

Have we sent a little thank you card to them lately? With nice handwriting apologising about your hurried trip with camel headgear 

 

Shut up 

 

I heard it was a Qantas blanket hardly the attire of the Persian princess and if I remember you were a little unkind about people who work for 

 

Shut up! Stop it! Ok ok ok. I may think about a needless and seemingly unnecessary apology but if hear one more East West theory I swear I’m going to 

 

Why don’t you just find a nice trip to go on so you can talk to some little people. You always like that. Makes you feel human although we all know that is an out and out lie 

 

Get lost. I’m right! I’m right! The nerve when I’ve always argued their god forsaken point 

 

When have you been right? When? Pains in my arse

 

Just relax, god all bloody mighty 

 

Sunrise I’ll Sunrise them. Give me bloody grief for sitting at a desk, they have tribes of underlings wiping their bloody arses! You think when they’re rolling in it they’re going to give a crap about me? No bloody thank you!!! 

 

Oh but we will possum. We will. We’ll have a little bronze statue called Real Handy on Anzac Day. Just for you. 

 

Go bite your arse you useless twerp. Rip some minerals out of the ground and call it genius you putrescent toady bald bastard 

 

Always a pleasure