Joseph L Votel – head of Ah-merican Strategic Command – has said that more American troops might be needed in Syria.
Don’t mention Ass Ass Assah Assah Assah-D.
We the British People
We’re not British, we’re civilised
I want the YPG
No I want the YPG
You can’t have them, we’re Turkish
Eating their Kurds and whey
The reason
The American troops
We must increase
And win wars!
Excuse me I’d like to be a refugee
You cannot be a refugee
Please! I want to be a refugee
I have cameras running vision of blankets and bags and white tents you cannot be a refugee there are thousands of them
Who said
I said
I want a white helmet
Darling, an Oscar doesn’t mean you deserve a white helmet
I want a redesigned military uniform and I want to be a refugee
Why can’t you be a doctor? Lawyer?
They don’t go nowhere
Yes they do! Skiing and the Caymans and long expensive dinners where you buy things to lower your tax and gossip with other beautiful wives! You’ll be known as a phil
I wanna be a refugee!
Darling you speak two languages. You have great teeth. You are perfect for coupling. A quiet career in modelling. Investment banker with three houses. What about the UN? Close to 5th Avenue, a train down to NoLita when you’re feeling edgy
Why can’t I be black?
Because when I decided to spend the next six hours with someone I liked the look of very much I did not spend a lot of time checking their skin but I did check other things and they were perfect for Mommy.
I don’t understand. I think I want to be Muslim.
For fuck’s sake it is Malcolm X. Isn’t it time for school?
No. Can I apply to be a refugee? You always said you could fast track me.
That was for medical school. Not the line of desperados trying to make some coin. I’ll tell you what. You talk to your teacher about how terrible the situation is for refugees and how you’d like to work with them and then we’ll discuss why you can’t be one. Because you just can’t. You live here. You have a country.
Don’t they have a country?
But they don’t want to live there so they decide to come here anyway
You’d travel a lot
It would be very dangerous
Daddy is always saying you should test your limits
He does everyday I assure you
If you wore the right clothes you wouldn’t be cold
Yes. We’ll be off to Kathmandu in a jiffy. You’ll fit right in after I tear your jacket into 50 pieces.
Can I be friends with them?
Oh yes, that would help Mommy enormously. We can get photos together and talk about them at the school fete
But what if I get head lice like when
That won’t happen again. Mommy cannot spell white trash. And neither can they.