So let me get this straight. A non-descript hollowed faceless hunchback back stabbed an underperforming environmental Star Prime Minister before a bland party blow hard won the title before an apoplectic drought stricken outraged audience? 




And, how does that win us ratings? 


Oh not us Madam. The swill of confected opinion combined with shrill personality politics raises vital multiple layered questions about democracy, rule and the people and forces us into timely discussions about the nature of politics and the media. 


I see. And how does it…….do that? 


Well we talk a lot about the talk that was given before they talked a bit about talking the talk about ruling you see. 


I thought people were annoyed with Malcolm’s about face on climate and the environment and you slipped through the Huawei decision on the same day thus attempting to divert the populace from more unseemly commentary about China creating destabilising factors for any government attempting to wield influence. Could that be correct? 


I have no idea what you mean Madam. That seems completely fanciful. 


You’re calling me a fantasist? 


No Madam, not at all. Of course not. I mean, that could be a clever interpretation but fails to understand the chaotic nature of government and thus that ultimately, the way we tend to run things. 


The chaotic nature of government. My government is not chaotic. 


No Madam. Of course not but you see the problem is 


What is the problem? As I see it, they are elected, paid and confer with the best minds in the world to govern accordingly. What is it they can’t manage to establish? A desire for stability or pleasing the electorate? 


The issue of environmental 


We are all very clear on the green issues of the day. It has spawned and inspired numerous hessian bags some of which breathe and have hair but are still wonderfully and woefully dependent on fashion’s ability to hide most of human natures genetic stuff ups in suitable camouflage. There must be something else that you are failing to tell me 


No Madam. The media have been waging a war against the former Prime Minister and 


No-one wages a war unless they has been agreement to wage a war so again, was Lucy simply bending to outside forces or did she want to leave? A Hughes does not leave office unless they wish to leave office. Did Lucy wish this upon us? 


I can’t answer that Madam. Of course I cannot rule out that they may one day return or that in actual fact the chaos that now prevails is something that serves the people 


I can’t see how it serves the people. It looks ridiculous. Where are we in Afghanistan and what about the Indonesian free trade agreement? 


Well that I am not sure about 


Could anyone down there please let me know as the Uighur situation, as you know with the Americans they are ramping up the prison scenario 


We are paying close attention to that Madam, I promise you 


I fail to see how you would be as it is not in your sphere of influence however along with the Malaysian outburst by Recalcitrant I imagine there are still a few things on the South East Asian periphery 


The issue of the Rohingyas 


Oh yes, deported to a small island to be routinely revolved by international agreements soon to take place I take it? 


Madam. I am not sure I would put it like that, if we were to be a little more circumspect 


Feel free to use any terminology that doesn’t cause you to lie awake at night fretful as to the dire circumstances of the great unwashed. Proceed. 


We are aware of the…….dire situation of the Rohingya and along with the refugee issues, are at once solidifying our relations with the Pacific and the ASEAN community and as you know have close working groups that are concerned about the large debts that are incurred when port projects 


The Sri Lankan issue has been well documented 


Yes but along with Bangladesh and the Pakistani corridor 


Enough, I see. What has been the discussion on the Papal agreement? 


Well, at the moment it is just an agreement and as to the credibility of reports 


Is there a time line? 


I can’t say at this minute 


First Aung and now Francis. The hallways must be howling 


Quite right Madam although to be fair what occurs is always of use as you know 


A howling football are the cadres of interest. Conversion? 


We are working on that now. 


Good. I do hope Harry gets to meet a feral wombat in Dubbo. He’ll understand the politics immediately. We’ll find Meghan floating down the Macquarie on a tube with any luck.


As long as she is not naked on a horse, Madam.


A horse. Precisely. And a rain dance. 


Rain dance?