Welcome to the news.

While cammo does GI Joe in your part of the world, with boats and dinghys and weapons systems no person in their right mind would understand, spare a thought for the rest of the world locked down.

We wish we were there.

Beats sitting on your arse, says Trevor.

Oh yeah! Cool! A rocket!

Fuckin’ awesome!

Wish I could be drenched in sea spray and hauling a dinghy onto a beach.

Want some sound? 

Toy and MG onit.

‘Ah beautiful position there. Yep, nice landing of the cammo. Cool biceps. Oh look! Wrap around sunnies too! Do you think they are in medal position?  I mean, what would push them into GOLD? Canadians are there. The Yanks too. Anyone for a ship shot? Nah, ship shot only gives you bronze. What we need here is

OH LOOK! A Chinese spy ship! Shit mate! That has put the cat amongst the pigeons. Looks like a backyard golf green but never mind.

Oh the NYT has come in hard. 

Missile silos! Chinese ones! Sheeet. I mean, the Ruskies and the Yanks have got 4000 each but flock yeah, bloody Chinks. Never mind. Logic has gone AWOL. 

Where is Miss Piggy?

Pining for Kermie. 

‘Kermie Kermie, get me off this Lilypad and into some action!’

Nah. She gotta work it out Hans Solo like Princess Layla.

That’d be worth a degree or two.

BIg boats. Shit mate. OMG. 

Talisman Sabre. The Talisman you have when you want to do Luke. But he might be your brother.

Oh did I mention ASSK is in prison?

Yeah, the military don’t like her.

But ours is cool as FLOCK. FLOCK YEAH. 

Now we have some more beautiful images floating through the paradise via Twitter.

This isn’t a B21 which is what everyone covets silently, not daring to touch the wings that cost more than a trip to the shops. 

Wouldn’t I. Wouldn’t I. If I could fit it into the EDO Canbra care package, oh I bloody would. 

Look at those tanks mate. Big rubber rolling wheels. On sand! I mean, this is almost beach volleyball gold!! Six nations. Wet. Together. In formation.

How much do you think those racing binoculars cost sitting on top of their head? Stuck with Perkins Paste or something more? Hard to say. Hard to say. Bloody expensive guns I reckon. What’s he pointing it at? A Magpipe? Yeah, a magpipe. Oh put it down mate! She’s harmless.

What’s he gunna bust that door open with? His foot? Can’t he see inside with the infrared? Oh geez. How does the Opposition deal with that? This could be a bronze I reckon. He’ll have to go better than that to get the Gold. 

Oh I’ve been handed a note. Military to help control COVID in Sydney. Oh yeah, fellas, we’re at the Brisbane Olympics. This isn’t a WARATAH match. AUZMAT BRAVO has gone into Fiji. God we love the Pacific. It is true love. That’s what it is all about here. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. And shit loads of cammo. 

Now we have a 

A B-52 Stratofortress aircraft flying alongside 

@AusAirForce‘s EA-18G Growler, F/A-18F Super Hornet and F-35A Lightning aircraft. 

Look at those big planes. Where is Clarky? Is he alongside? Maybe doesn’t like the ethanol. Vapor fumes a bit much.

It’s a big plane though isn’t it?

Real big. 

Can anyone buzz Clarky? Got a bit on at the moment. He’ll have to pull out the big ones to beat this. He’d have to shave a few seconds off the world record. 

Canberra has only offered a spit spat between the Japanese and Chinese diplos. Bloody Canberra. They’d have to be disappointed with that effort. No-one is surprised. Pencil pushers getting involved in the games. Seriously mate. This is Russell doing what it does best. Sweat. Machines. And Friendship. 

Was that another ship mention there MG?

Oh shit yeah. We’re full of ships. Big ones. 

Another GOLD twitter feed of them in formation. Sort of like sychronised swimming without the bathing caps.

Just the little frilly additions of gunners. 

What does a gunner do?

Details are not important, TOY. Just images. The medium is the message.

Note in here, MG.

According to Rear Adm. Chris Engdahl, who commands the U.S. Navy’s Expeditionary Strike Group 7, the ability of the F-35B to integrate with the Royal Australian Air Force F-35A and other assets, such as Boeing E-7A Wedgetail airborne early warning and control aircraft, during high-end air combat training “has just been spectacular.”

Well that is good to know. 

What do you think is in the explosives they are loading? 

Not sure. But I reckon you’d have to get that right or you’d be out of medal contention. Not sure what the North Koreans, the Chinese, the Syrians or the Palestinians think about that. 

Well I think if you loaded up all the bases, all the weapons, all the satellites, all the secret silos and then a little over the horizon action well, 

Do you think we really know?

Not sure. I think every team would keep a pretty tight lid on preparations. As long as you have the bold type over the images with a little TOP GUN music, I reckon the public would go for it.

If you just made out dissenters were out and out crackpots

Oh that would be the way to go. Never been done before. Truly original.

Are they getting a bit of dynamic lift with those helicopters?

Oh for sure. Just what you want in a helicopter. Dynamic lift. 

And a ski jump deck.

And a ski jump deck.

You reckon there are a few nukes around the place on board?

Oh my word. Can’t say of course. Top secret.

Top secret. Of course. Nothing important.

Nah. Top secret. You wanna go live in Equador? Fuck no! Grow a beard and have no jiggy wid it? NO WAY! Bloody QLD beaches. Cammo. International relations. 

Well here we are at the Queensland Talisman Sabre Games and what a sight for sore eyes. Countries united in sheer power and cammo. Tired from the sheer thrill of it all. And hasn’t it been an exercise in precision, formation and leadership. Didn’t see any breastroke, but maybe next year.