Author: Maryann (page 2 of 25)

The Grannies.

 

Oh the grannies are working it out as we speak 

 

We are at a momentous time! This is not the time to 

 

What? Engage in ransacking followed by brutality followed by protests. Our little Lord Fauntleroy showing us graphic pictures of beaten legs. I know who should be wearing a nappy. What’s the endgame? 

 

You know what 

 

I don’t darling. You have tanks on the border. Who’s crack idea was that one? Have a little meeting did we with the Chinese about the nationalistic theatre that needs to be played on both sides? 

 

This is about people’s lives! There are bloody people in Hong Kong, people in the rain, in the streets, they want freedom 

 

I know. You want me to replay the footage you watched online blow by blow 

 

I have it on good authority 

 

Good authority. Which good authority? Imagine the gossip on that little outpost right now. I’m telling you. There have been more dramas in those small islands than Chinese tanks and my bet is the Granny’s are sorting this shit out somewhere in Asia. 

 

It is about people’s lives and the extradition bill is about you!

 

Please don’t lecture me on human rights and freedom. I will repeat once more, that while I was face down in Las Vegas because I said that there was money laundering

 

Not just money laundering, but military money laundering

 

I got a bit carried away. 

 

A bit carried away! 

 

Anyway, while you are bitching Chinese casinos in Cambodia, there I am, face down, doing exactly what you claim is what everyone should do vis a vis China and next thing you know 

 

But this is our moment! You know all about this and every five seconds just as we are about to advance, WHAMMO, Mrs Bean gives us five cents worth that hardly does justice to the incredible amount of military hardware we have 

 

We know all about that sunshine. You did such a good job last time, you know, the bit where the Yanks put on helmets and then went in and then went out and the bastard place was left high and dry for the Commies. 

 

Jesus Christ! This is not that time! Afghanistan 

 

Although I hasten to add, I think you were done in by your advisors. I think there was a deal done by Enlai and Kissinger. I mean clearly. Bad execution is rarely bad execution. It is just muddled policy. 

 

Exactly! You are messing up carefully laid plans that we have that are about people and their future 

 

Just let me know how the next bit goes because that is a little bit tougher than a white plastic folder with a HRW sticker. Just in case the last thousand years haven’t crossed your mind 

 

What we get from you is nothing but obstruction when we are so close to 

 

To what? What are you close to? Chinese fishing vessels in Filipino waters? 

 

That’s exactly what I am talking about! That bit right there! Right now! You just did it! And you are nowhere near the zones of contention, 

 

Oh I can be. Which island do you want me on? I don’t mind. Bit boring though. Prefer to be holed up with a Hong Kong billionaire hearing about the next plot line. Although Venezuela is pretty tough at the moment and Palestine. Well, funny how that human rights isn’t on the agenda like Hong Kong. Gosh. I wonder if housing prices will come down. 

 

That’s not funny! 

 

SBS might not be able to film in the streets about hawker food. The crime. 

 

You cannot compare Palestine and Hong Kong

 

Exactly my point. 

 

We are on the verge of finishing goals that have been laid out 

 

Who benefits from these goals? I mean, the Balkans just got broken up and a big FO base was constructed in Kosovo. Ditto the heartlands. Does money pour in or do we just leave little Roman garrisons so we can oversee the power structure? And then come to speak of it, as a woman, do I get to sit in on the oil and gas deals? A little hydroelectricity deal between governments or do I do cross stitching while our rugged individualists traverse the globe espousing greatness? 

 

There are ways and means to do things and look what happened in Kashmir. No blood spilled. 

 

Bravo. Saving ammo rounds one day at a time. 

 

The point is that Hong Kong is a sign 

 

Oh puhlease

 

But you know the reality 

 

I have no interest in reality. What I have seen of it suggests that ideology is a Lego set one should avoid. All the colours have to match. And as for the Indians, my god 

 

This is not about 

 

Aren’t they crowing about being appointed the democracy police. J-ehas-us. It’s a like a little kid been given a whole bunch of lollies. That kid in that Lars film who finally is told he’ll inherit it all before everyone finds out the father did the kids. 

 

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! 

 

Oh I’m sorry. It is peoples future. It is really important. 

O-PAL

I’m just here outside ANSTO

What a wonderful delight

Saving the world you see 

With an Opal Reactor 

 

It is all about nuclear medicine, can’t you see? 

 

Oh that rare earths agreement 

Just a small timely thing

I mean seriously, of course we can

Yeah China might have the run 

It was good to allow them 

To take the environmental tonne, 

 

Oh we’re an ambitious little Australia

Cocky in our lot 

No need to tell anyone what’s going on

We’re Rome on the run, 

 

Nothing like a Western Sydney Wanderer

To make us feel important 

We are the sun

 

When history has forgot us 

Or when we’ve turned away from those small inconsequential facts 

I know deep down

You’ll unmask the lot 

So principled 

And proud 

 

 

And when the quiet reveals 

How you scrubbed aside the 

Irregularities 

How you carelessly 

Thought

Your place was more important

Than anything 

Else 

Then we’ll see

What rule you claim to 

Believe 

I sure as shit hope 

You’ve got some money 

For the sick. 

 

 

 

Isn’t it funny

They can publish newspapers 

As clearly lined 

As a modernist dream

But twixt them 

Well 

 

Anything that counters real power

Ain’t anywhere to be seen.

 

 

 

There is a thought

That as you get older

You’ll swarm closer to the 

Engines of power

And through wisdom 

Somehow know 

What is right and wrong 

But ultimately 

What happens is the fight goes 

The desire for friendship greater

So 

The estates wither 

And then damn those 

That aren’t 

Holding the line. 

 

 

 

I think the rage is 

That the fix is in 

That you cannot 

Change your circumstance

Although they claim 

That all are equal 

 

Even in the republic chime 

Are people who have benefited from 

Relationships that propelled them 

To power 

And it is this 

That is the grist 

That makes me green 

 

Because for all that equality propaganda 

Are people that owe all their success 

To privilege and connections 

 

So spare 

Me

Please. 

 

 

 

And what would it matter 

If I railed and roiled 

It is not business of yours 

I am not your fucking donut 

A piece of dough to raise and diminish 

When you feel fit

 

You have diminished me so many times 

And I have not forgotten 

 

You’d better be careful 

If I decide 

To use all my energy 

To reduce you to 

Whit. 

 

 

 

I can’t help it if you bore me 

You sort of do 

The lectures have been interminable 

Sort of like 

A parsons lunch 

The bastard place 

Is lousy with great stuff 

You run around being fabulous 

And here I am 

Sitting in a house 

Again

 

The conversations over the years 

Have been the equivalent 

Of horseshit being tipped over 

A face 

 

So 

 

I think it is time 

For you to get it back.

 

 

I’m a worker you see

I lovely little worker

I work so hard 

Let me tell you hard I work 

I mean how hard I work 

I am just such a hard worker 

So busy 

Whew 

 

Maybe if you told those 

That don’t have a job 

How great they can be

And stopped talking about how hard you work 

 

We wouldn’t call you 

A bunch of aggrandising tossers 

People have always worked 

You didn’t invent 

It

Dopey. 

 

 

 

Um Jared Diamond 

Comes to mind 

Can I go hard 

On the biological stuff 

Because it seems to me that yes 

That would be something 

That would 

Warrant a big bloody 

Investigation. 

 

 

 

African Swine Flu? 

Now what could be 

At the centre of that. 

What a 

Development

 

 

Diana

A fruitcake? 

No

They never got it those boys 

Still don’t 

Didn’t see 

The huge gap in their perception 

And ours 

 

Courtiers 

And crew

Should tread carefully 

When trying to define 

Someone we saw

As absolutely 

Brillant 

 

Beautiful and luminous 

A bona fide star

That was flesh and blood. 

 

Her tantrums 

A reaction to 

Byzantine plots 

 

You see 

The human when sensing 

Rightly or wrongly 

That they are 

A piece on a 

Chess board 

Will react like a wild

Animal 

Tethered 

Like Schoenaerts Mustang 

 

It is the animal instinct that kicks in 

Sensing that somewhere 

Lurks 

Danger or even

Just flagrant disrespect 

 

And I can imagine 

What prisoners feel 

It was like that 

For her

 

Well

They learnt a lesson

Clearly. 

 

 

 

And yet they continue 

To discuss 

Prisoner rehabilitation 

While allowing others 

To treat people 

Like 

Rubbish. 

 

Let’s just say 

I don’t react well 

To it 

As a notion 

And that’s 

The kind version. 

 

 

We Want (A Platform)

We want you to use your platform.

 

Aha. We want.

 

The kid border thing

 

The problem with the kid border thing is that like the refugee issue in Australia, there are national security issues at the heart of it and you don’t want to admit that. But yes, naturally I don’t believe in it. What’s to believe in?

 

Anyhow, and the border issue and Trump

 

And Trump. Yes, diabolical. And what? Are we to constantly consider the issues of the American President pressing when internationally there is quite a lot on the plate? You understand that you constantly try to garner more leverage by distracting people from the real issues and perhaps that isn’t exactly

 

But you know what the President says

 

What the President says and what is happening at a macro level are two totally different things. He is desperately trying to lose the next election so that the grey police can continue to keep Washington and the capitals ‘cleansed’ as it were from undesirables. Not exactly white shirts. But the tactics are mostly underhand and underreported.

 

Do you think that unqualified people should be in charge of policy?

 

No. I didn’t say that. I simply cannot enter constantly into US domestic politics when there are bigger things at play including the fact you had me on a bathroom floor two weeks ago. But Justin Bieber must be really struggling. He probably was but not from glancing in the wrong direction or deigning to go by helicopter over a desert. The crime.

 

But if you say something

 

What do you want me to say? I don’t think mistreatment of illegals is humane? Of course it bloody isn’t. But like Australia they will drag this out as part of some human rights agenda when in fact, strategy may have more to do with it.

 

You don’t know that.

 

Oh I think I do. And it is inhumane. And yes, I think what the young Democrats are saying is brilliant. What is not to like? I just have other things on my mind.

 

He is racist.

 

And? What? You elected him. So, unelect him. Perhaps if you discussed the racist nature of large countries bombing the crap out of smaller ones we’d also have a discussion. I guess then America would not be so outspoken. You see how Empires work? They are only for you if you do not criticise them. If for instance, you say ‘hey Philippines! You are Olaf’ this is not popular. But it is true. Very true.

 

So you think they should go China’s way.

 

I am simply saying that if they continue to egg on America’s involvement, a relationship so beneficial to the Philippines they have spent most of their time in the 20th Century abroad looking for work, they will be one of the first hit. Or, if you like your ideas neutered and palatable, they are in an area of ‘hotly contested’ waters or something. Regardless, that’s the dealio and no amount of flag waving from self interested parties that will be sitting back in a hotel room as it happens, makes me think otherwise. But knock yourselves out. If the East keeps this up, they’ll just erase themselves from any possible revival that might have signified something curiously beneficial.

 

That’s bullshit.

 

That’s true. Whether or not I advocated the complete opposite is neither here nor there.

 

Can you even spell Machiavelli?

 

In the time I would have liked to educate myself, I have been dealing with your incredibly thorough and not so inspiring cyber obfuscation. And allegedly, not talented enough for your ‘work’. If work means ‘politically acceptable journalism advocated by security services that serve nations not people.’ But if you are suggesting whether I am aware that politicians change policy, yes.

 

Give us a policy.

 

When I recover from the poison, you get a policy. Dealing with whatever little gem I am going to proffer next as you tell me repeatedly how lacking in talent and morals and strength I am while you beat me down until I cannot get up, I might. By the way, can you please tell a few of your subjects their acting is atrocious. I hate to lose people because you didn’t train them well enough. I thought there always had to be a kernel of truth. I don’t see the kernel.

 

So wonderful dealing with an expert.

Charades.

 

I’m going to do investigative journalism via charades 

It is really good idea

Because let’s face it 

An elephants arse from space 

Can see 

Everything you write 

Even if you in your mind

Camouflaged what you were to ask

 

I wonder 

If they know 

It is sort of sad 

That no-one really cares 

That no-one even raises the issue 

Of 

Surveillance so you cannot do your job 

I mean 

 

Imagine if Silicon Valley 

Could not operate computers 

Ever 

That is sort of what it is like 

Because they will know what you will ask

Before 

You do 

So

What are you going to do about it? 

I mean,  is the ABC really going to say

That the computers 

Are protected? 

 

I mean, what can people do to encrypt 

Their information 

And be notified when a government 

Has violated it? 

 

This is technology

You would engage in

If you were serious about the citizen right to know

 

Although let’s be frank 

There will always be a way 

For someone to pretend that they are 

A voice of democratic rights 

When in fact

They are just monitoring those 

That really believe

 

And that 

Unfortunately 

Really pisses me off 

 

 

You’re still a phoney bastard 

If you’re being paid 

To be phoney. 

It’s not like 

You are exonerated 

From stupidity. 

 

 

 

Albania had an earthquake

Like

Unsurprising. 

I wonder whether it has anything to do

With the base? 

 

 

 

Bloody hell

Having to fight for everyone’s right 

Is a bastard pain 

I am so suited 

To a daytime TV show 

 

I’d get my teeth done

Worry about my veins 

Pick the colour sequins 

Instagram my day 

Have lunch with a powerbroker 

Tell no-one about my tradey on the side 

Hit up a Premiere 

And go gliding near my

Yacht called ‘Velvet Munch’

 

Make time for a 

Evening swim at Whale Beach and sit there 

Listening to night-time sounds 

The Kooka reminding me 

Of humanity’s lot 

No 

 

They’ve fucking ear marked me 

For the Virgin Maryann 

Bunch of 

Clowns. 

 

 

 

Oh give it break 

If you were serious about using 

All the bastard technology of government 

You’d make everyone’s life

Safer 

So full of shit. 

 

 

 

Oh good one Jacqui. 

You’re not going to tell us 

What deal you will do with the government 

Bloody legend

Between you and Pauline 

You gotta wonder. 

 

 

 

What would be the problem 

With giving some bastard some

Health assistance? 

Who are you people? 

__ 

 

The placenta three 

Are running the joint 

It’s like the back of the room in Year Six 

They plot 

While we play

 

They look like a Ron Mueck sculpture 

But those appear 

To be human. 

 

 

 

CHICKS ADVICE: 

 

Grow a penis

Yours looked small 

Even in the 

Petri dish. 

 

 

Did You See

 

 

Did you see the big fuck off maps?

 

I saw.

 

I mean, look at that.

 

I saw.

 

I mean, how can you say that isn’t a threat, hey?

 

What, as opposed to the F35’s you are selling that most definitely did not employ a large section of local workers? 

 

The technology comes from multiple leading

 

Please feel free to document the amount of ‘local’ workers employed and whether there were any ‘foreign interference’ laws violated. I think they call it lobbying in some countries. I mean, not legally of course, because only the Chinese would do that. I mean, clearly. And I know that because Las Vegas and the Air Force and the proximity of test ranges to casinos would in no way suggest that there would be corruption of any sort. I mean you guys are clean. I just think every day ‘MMMMM don’t I love clean eating.’ That’s why I ate a ‘defense’ smoothie in in Las Vegas and churned that motherfucker up until I could very clearly see that, it could be, I am right.

 

Those are baseless accusations

 

Of course.

 

But we’re not building roads everywhere, we’re not

 

No, point taken there son. What is there is a ‘debt trap’ is there? Sure. Reminds me of those released sex tapes before everyone finds out they are gay.

 

Have you even examined the terms?

 

Let me see. Dumb Prime Ministers who run countries and have degrees from Oxford and LSE and hang out at the UN with other Prime Ministers, with more economic advisors than is naturally possible, sign agreements with debt traps. Yeah, that makes sense. That Greek logic of yours is really working overtime. Wait – oh my god! Could there be more to it than that! Could it possibly be, that this is not the end of the story?! NOOOOOOO Scarlett cries, her taffeta skirt swishing in the morning air, as Mame yells

 

People are voting with their feet! Joshua Wong

 

Has woken up in his own wet dream. He was probably a pedophilia intake from ‘85. That boy is way too young.

 

That’s not funny

 

Is it 20 million funny? Dave Chappelle gets 20 million a session for sitting out on an Ohio farm and mining jokes. Now that my friend, is capitalism.

 

They are fighting for human rights. For freedom.

 

You want to dictate the terms but get them to do the heavy lifting? Oh no. I got that bit.

 

The violence of the police

 

What? What ‘America the policeman in Gaza’? You mean those police?

 

This is a crucial time

 

After you let a bomb rip? I mean, in Aceh they just destroyed the homes of the dirt poor. But this time, I mean you even got some people with big houses. Military innovation one day at a time.

 

You are not going to try and tell me that you think

 

How would we know what happened or even why it happened? Transparency nil.

 

Hurricane Dorian, natural disasters are part of the oceans warming

 

Not so natural methinks, but plug away.

 

Science has proven

 

How the hell does anyone get away with saying the oceans are warming not implicating any military or commercial technology when you got nuclear submarines running around populating the universe like some out of control dipshit

 

We have stringent laws that stop us from

 

Do you?

 

Yes we do.

 

You knock off your own people by having lax chemical laws that allow people to die from cancer that could have been entirely preventable. I don’t know. I’d have to find those secret laws.

 

You have no evidence

 

The cancer clusters you dumb half baked moron, are in all the areas where your petroleum and nuclear companies are located. They even have clusters on your rivers right where you have factories that just happen to specialise in chemicals.

 

Being a cheap hack

 

Trojan War over, Aeneas wandering home

 

Have you ever even read it?

 

I have.

 

Bullshit.

 

Not your business.

 

 

Hello

 

 

 

Hello

 

I’ve got a podcast and a very important podcast it is too

 

Look!

 

It’s me!

 

I’m back from the dead and we’re so alive

 

The world is so alive

 

Um let’s see

 

“We all hate Trump.’

 

Yeah next. That one has had a good run.

 

‘Russians die in a submarine’

 

Well, maybe maybe not. Let’s just take that one as it comes.

 

Well ergh I thought I would interview some experts and as the experts say complete rubbish, I am going to be the expert. S.

 

That’s right.

 

I am presenter, expert, producer and content writer. Of my fabulous little podcast show.

 

Oh, first a song.

 

‘I love barfing in the toilet

 

What a lovely way

 

To show me your looooovvvvveeeee

 

I love barfing in the toilet

 

You must be very big and strong’

 

Actually. That’s not it.

 

Here it is.

 

Oh please let me know if I am being too loud

 

OOHHHHHH I haaaveee a lovely set of tonsssssiiiilllllsssss

 

I caaaaann SSSIIIIINNNGGGGGGG SINNNG ALL DAY LOOONNGGGGG

 

THEEEEYY THHHHHIIIIINNNNNKKKK WEEEEE CAAAANNN’’TTTT SMEEELLLLL TTTHHHHEEE ARSEYYYY STUFFF IN KATHAMNADU WAIT KASSSSHHHHMMIIIIRRRR

 

BUT

 

I think there was a little agreement

 

Yes

 

I think there was a little agreement

 

A tiny weeny little agreement

 

Between the tiny weeny little peeenies

 

Of Imran and Donnie

 

OH!

 

They had a meeting

 

They had a meeting

 

It’s a very contentious place

 

Three of them

 

No four

 

If you count the US-A of PRAY

 

 and Paaakistan and India

 

Lines in the sand

 

Well we’ve just sorted it out

 

And we do it very privately

 

Because

 

Well just because

 

Because we like to have very quiet meetings

 

About things that matter

 

And it gets all sorted out

 

My how things change!

 

My how things change!

 

I must leave the cigar room now

 

Because

 

They’re having a little meeting

 

BOOOO

 

I WANNA SHOE

 

Yeah

 

I WANNA DANCE

 

Oh we’re nothin’ at all

 

We’re nothin’ at all

 

THEEEEYYYY

 

Just decided

 

In the teeeny weeny

 

Peeeny

 

ROOOOM

 

And it just so happens

 

In the very same week

 

Syria rebels forces departed

 

Now what does that say

 

HEY?

 

YEAH

 

But there is this thing

 

Called the corridor

 

Wonder what happens

 

NOW

 

OH

 

Be careful

 

Cause you think you might be winning…….

 

But Aunty gets it all

 

YEAH

 

Aunty gets it all.

 

(Well, with a little benevolence towards other depleted folks, she dispenses wisely, what style, what charm, what power!)

 

YEAH

 

Knock yourself out

 

She gets it

 

ALL.

 

(But I’d like to access to the tapes, do you mind?)

 

 

 

IF

If Derry doesn’t want a divided Ireland and America is outraged by the mass shootings, what is the scenario with Libya, Turkey; the INF withdrawal, the missile statements from  Pompeo and Yemen bombings? 

There is no link

Right so, when I discuss these things, how is it different say, from a reporter or a commentator or an analyst at a think tank? Let’s say, people view them as stoking certain current international positions. Will they be viewed as pariahs? 

Well, Trump is getting a caning

Yes. But that hasn’t changed policy, has it? I mean, when I have tried to change policy – or when people enter politics, isn’t that effectively trying to bring about an end to situations or alleviate the plight of people who are voiceless? 

Yes. 

So when I say that the lack of water in certain countries as a result of policy means that it is imperative that people in Africa find ways to make sure that they have access to clean and reliable water sources, how likely is that? 

Well, I am not sure 

Because at the end of the day, rulers have to be making decisions that make lives better not harder for the constituent. 

Yes. 

Right. So when I – out of my sense of service – look at whether or not water sources are clean, is that not a ruler being effective and compassionate about the subjects that rely on my good judgment? 

Yes, I would say yes of course

Good. That is all I wanted to hear you say. So, make clean water in Africa more reliable and make sure the people have it. 

Well the rivers 

I can’t see how you can say yes to plants and factories and other industrial items and not think about whether or not the clean water sources will affect people locally. I mean, their health. 

There are many programs 

Good. Because that is what I want and that is what I wanted to hear. Great work. Keep going. I’d like that an immediate result to be implemented….immediately. Clean water and sources accessible now. And some start up fund lot can make sure that it happens. I don’t want to see people lining up for water in a drought ravaged river. Or toxic water in community situations. 

How is this linked to the international situation that you 

Oh. Well. I just want to know why being outspoken or concerned with health issues is derided. I thought it might be best to keep going while I can. 

You have chosen some pretty powerful people to argue with 

I don’t see them as the enemy.

Well I would say 

How do you propose we deal with surveillance? Modify behaviours? Turn into robots? What is your belief here

That we be careful of what we say when 

How can a satellite determine the difference between theatre, satire and reality? It cannot. Only humans can. Therefore humans know when I am behaving to violate intimidating censorship and when I am performing. Only humans. 

What if they have no sense of humour? 

The satellites or the humans? 

Obviously huu

Then, they are serious about the issues of State. I see no point in it. Not a good PR exercise. 

But they do not have to absorb poor behaviour by the citizen. 

Of course they do. They are the State. The power quotient is uneven therefore the stronger set must endure as they are the larger force. The individual is not plankton to be picked off for amusement. 

Coming from you 

I was on a floor. Fourth time. Poisoned. I have not ever made it public until last month. Don’t tell me about amusements. 

Your fricatives have frankly 

If you work with incredible power on your side, you wear it. Surely they knew the consequences. 

Probably not. 

If they don’t wear it, they are the Mafia. 

There is a middle ground

Precisely. 

Hong Kong Games

 

 

Aha! A protest! Wait. No more protests!

 

Oh it looks like yes

 

A bit of biffo from the police.

 

Not happy Hong Kong. Not happy Hong Kong!

 

Oh a little bit of teargas

 

Did anyone get that on TV? Did we get it for the cameras? Have you got your flak jacket on? Lucky. Bloody hell. Might lose a shirt. Stain the Hugo Boss.

 

Oh very volatile. Oh very volatile this democracy.

 

Wait There’s been another press conference. Yep, the protestors are out of control and Carrie Lam is a cow. That’s the sum of it people. That’s the sum of the parts.

 

Someone has lost an eye. No, forget the bombing in the Middle East this is real stuff folks! Real real time stuff.

 

Now we have the cavalcade of commentators wading in. Let’s see what they have to say.

 

Oh bless. Yep, China is the baddie. Works doesn’t Canberra? Yes works for Canberra. Works for Hong Kong. Works for wait are those US flags? Oh yes looks like we have some US flags in the proceedings. Nice touch there. Just in case we didn’t know who was promoting democracy. Nice DNA, gene pool not to be denied. Works for the US of A.

 

Gosh, this is game is really hard to predict. What with the University charges in Australia, the foreign interference laws, and the island fracas what do you think is going to happen here folks? ASEAN has just moved into place. Decided to do some warship thing with some other blokes. South East Asian Nations. Wild concept.

 

Oh look, a nice young fresh bloke to lead the charge. Well Well well, who would have thought. That’s the way. Who bloody needs university anyway. Rule of law and all that. Wouldn’t be a barrister every five kilometres in HK to sort the whole melee out now would there? No. Such a big place. How would you find them? Difficult. Much be tough. To find so many well appointed lawyers and stuff. Must be hard this constitutional stuff.

 

Wait, my assistant has just handed me the agreement. Yep, looks like the Joint Declaration that was signed between the British and China. I have it here, it says:

 

‘The law that is currently in force in Hong Kong will remain unchanged’

 

Uh oh. That’s not good for the Chinese side now is it folks. Straight up penalty there. Yep, easy two points between the posts. Oh dear. How are they going to get out of that one? Seems to me with the extradition they have just walked straight into a trap wouldn’t you say? Oh too right. No, that one I am afraid on the Hawkeye is not going to go their way.

 

And now we have the counter move from the mainland. Also from the memorandum also signed between the British and the Chinese.

 

Wait. Wait. Here it is – looks like Hong Kongers are under ‘under national law of the PRC… all Hong Kongers are Chinese nationals’

 

Uh oh. That really muddies the pie. That’s a real problem there. And foreign affairs and defence are under control of the PRC’

 

Wonder what happens now. I mean, is this a foreign issue or a defence issue? Imagine there is a fair bit of discussion going on by coaches of both sides.

 

The question is: are there defence assets inside Hong Kong that are important to the mainland? Other than the whole bloody island of course. This is not an insignificant question.

 

We’ve already seen the bloody mess in the players lounges so this is no laughing matter. Hell of a way to play the game don’t you think?

 

Quite like the balaclava and the mask touch. Always works always worked in Indonesia, you get a nice big fat pic on the front of Time Magazine. Bloody beauty. Someone is bound to win a human rights prize for that one. And then they’ll forget what they were fighting about in the first place.

 

Few penalties required though. Not quite finished yet. Boris Johnson is bound to say something completely stupid wait oh he has said something has he? No. Just his half brother setting up a real estate fund thing. Good timing. Nice one Max.

 

Moving right along, the Chinese have responded and said that it was a historical document that has no practical relevance. What do you think of that ey? No practical relevance well this is a game of football that has taken us from Africa to the Middle East to the BRI to Hong Kong I dunno, I reckon there has been a lot of practical relevance to what has been happening around the traps with China on the splurge eh? Oh no, I reckon that is almost sin bin. I mean, a few porkies there eh? Jesus. That’s a call and a half.

 

Oh the G7 has said something but let’s be frank. We haven’t got time for a photo op. No, photo ops not here. People are out on the streets! Get with the program! God I haven’t had this much fun since the Carnation revolution, wait the Saffron revolution wait the do we have a briar bush revolution? No. No roly poly revolutions here that must be still waiting in the Australian bush. Waiting for the rain.

 

They’ve been marching in the rain in Hong Kong! Marching in the rain! When was the last time we got out and marched? Well. Probably weren’t going to get extradited to the mainland. To be fair. Just marching straight to the meat pie stand. The hot dog with the lot. I’ll have two beers and make them not light.

 

Yes, thankyou to our fine friends in DSD they just keep our conversations and scramble them until someone on the other side actually thinks it is policy. Brilliant strategy. Real Australian outback stuff. The backline doing incredible work and just throwing it to the wings when the ASX looks a little weak. This is called the Sweet Spot. Stuff of legends.

 

I mean, who wants to meet someone in a lane way in Beijing on a dark night? Not sure. Not sure my Mandarin is up to scratch. Might leave that to the experts.

 

What do you think do you think democracy has had a hard run on it? I don’t know. Bloody lot of ships in the waters. Lot of activity on the democratic front, might be a few laughs around here, two Gulf Wars, Libya, a War on Terror, Syria, Yemen and now this. I mean on a scale of one to ten, how hard up do you think the democratic forces are here folks?

 

Yep. Think they’re having a bit of tug. Never mind, all fun and games and well, it isn’t coming out of our budget. Lucky. I mean, other than a few boats that we designed anyway. ‘Cause we are Nancy boy crawlers that get all our ideas from the missus but forget that there is a TM printed on the big fat gazoo. Yeah, that’s how it is played out here. These are Games For The Ages.

 

The big question is: how many of the other coaches and players are in on it, right? I mean you got Malaysia, a real little stellar number there at limiting Chinese influence, you got Cambodia everyone mad as hell about the free passes the Chinese are getting inside although let’s not forget Australia’s role in the 90’s, I think there might be a little more to that than meets the eye, what with Australia on the ground in Asia eh?

 

Not sure whether some contraband uranium got through the lines and into the hands of some of the opposing side. Now that would cause a real historical stink wouldn’t it? I mean, if anyone was looking at history and let’s be frank. This game is too important for history. It is for passion! Ideology! Straight up stupidity! I mean, what is a game of geopolitical football without the sort of hair raising stupidity that lends it so much credibility among the non-initiated eh?

 

I mean you have got all these planes and I mean, who doesn’t like planes? I mean, just hand a few over to Taiwan because that is sure to ease tensions don’t you think? I mean that is just certifiable gold there. Forget the blue water navy! Forget the chain of pearls! Just keep handing over the planes.

 

But moving along, you got Vietnam – well enough said there, the wind blows very democratic in that corner at the moment, and you got the actor Rodrigo ‘I’m for China but not really but I am from the South and the whole family can run this joint cause this is the Phillipines and we can do what we want’ but I think with the Catholic influence there, the Mariana Trench I think it is a little more clear cut but if it was me, I mean I am just saying, you are well inside some contested territory and you can never know which way this game goes so, you want to make sure the lighter 5/8th’s, the forwards aren’t punished for some reckless moves but not popular, no not popular in this part of town but at the end of the day, I dunno, I’d be a bit cautious when you got God Fearing Loving Filipinos doing the grunt work eh?

 

Well yes, whole bloody region and that’s why this is so important. I mean, you might think it is just some stupid drop out university kids causing trouble so they can get a Masters at a US university but the real question would be what people think in Laos, Indonesia, you know, the heartlands of this debate. They are the real fans. The real believers. And this is where these two sides have got to start playing with a bit of ticker.

 

No ‘oh yeah, here is a little money for the Saturday shopping, go buy yourself a fast train’ no no that’s not going to work. They’re going to have to go deep inside and actually care about the fans! That’s right! The players are actually going to have to care about the outcome and work for the ticket price!

 

Not a little ‘oh just give me my money thanks, I am a good old Roman soldier and where is the Macca’s in my barracks’ No not going to work! I think these teams have their work cut out for them because it may be that with the demise of the dummy pass as a real ploy, I mean everyone can see it coming, they are going to have to take it to the people. I mean, I don’t think the old style of play is going to work. Colour by numbers is out mate! They both have some serious thinking to do.

 

Well no I don’t think anything it is not for me to comment at this stage.

 

How would you call it? Get in a lawyer son. Bound to be one in Hong Kong. Not sure I’d be lighting match with so much at stake. Can’t say I fancy a match up between some tanks and a few skinny uni boys that are still fed by their mother.

 

The problem is if the tanks go in: China’s lost the game. If the protestors don’t negotiate, they could lose momentum. It will be up to the backs to defend the ground they’ve gained in the last quarter. Clearly, Hong Kong has decided it wants independence so it is all touch and go here. You’re going to see some big moves in the next little while and let’s remember: China is not a team of small Anaheim Ducks.

 

Could be wrong. Could be wrong. Been wrong before.

 

And the great thing is, we have Donny to help us remember: the markets go up, the markets go down. But someone always makes money.

 

No, the arrests are a downright problem, what we have here are real diplomatic incidents and with the trading might of China, the Huw-are-we dilemma I think we can clearly say that everyone is in two minds about the clout of the new kid on the block. Canada is not happy. Australia is not happy but happy to take the money. Well, who doesn’t love money?

 

And they love to play the boys don’t they? All the boys just beside themselves with Five Eyes. No a brown eye. No, Five Eyes I have heard it from here, but there was a brown eye but we’re leaving it right there. I’m getting an EDIT signal from the control tower on that one. Five Eyes it is.

 

The Brits have gone in on the Middle East warship thing although giving you a bit of inside information here, energy is shipped through via other means so not sure about that as real play-on-play, significant of course with Iran but at the end of the day, every move has to mean something.

 

That Modi medal care of the UAE really set the cat amongst the pigeons but was probably a bit of a ‘suck you Qatar’ a bit of friendly inter-Mussie Shia-Sunni down low mud wrestle. Not sure that is top quality play, just a bit of heckling from the side now that Qatar has the World Cup.

 

You got Kashmir, you got Syria, you got Putin and Erdogan doing a little red lap dance, I mean, this game is still up in the air in some areas. We’ve not even covered Russia up North.

 

We’ll have to get to the Ukraine next show.

 

Anyway, there you have it, there’s a stop in play in Hong Kong while everyone works out the next step. And be warned.

 

The ANC will be blamed for everything. They don’t understand how to run a country.

 

Oh wait, someone else did the run the country and just left half of the population out. And then it was handed over.

 

What are they protesting about in Hong Kong?

 

 

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The Land Between The Seas

A Compendium of Thoughts on Chaos and The Land Between Seas. That We Live On.

 
While you’re listening to the Royal Commission into Child Abuse currently running in NSW, spare a thought for people dealing with the images coming out of Syria.
 
Pretty gruesome although I do not necessarily agree with the axiom ‘you can’t say you didn’t know.’
 
Viewing images is one thing. Being certain of the perpetrator is quite another. Especially thousands of miles away.
 
The Balkan wars had their own agendas and necessary tragedies and I am not sure anyone well versed in international conflict is going to wade in other than to condemn – again – the endless suffering of innocent civilians.
 
The Fourth Estate has often used tragedy as a way to: inform others re: global conflict, depict suffering, or marshall support for a cause. The problem being that war images are rarely without inherent strategic ‘agendas’.
 
The UN is currently investigating the use of chemical weapons in Syria. Russia disagrees.
 
Whether or not this is a ‘Western’ agenda or a human rights agenda isn’t exactly clear, as the war has been framed either as a war on extremists or a war between proxy powers. (The West v Russia/China. See Brzezinski.)
 
This strategic alignment might be clear vis a vis a the North Korean situation/South Korea’s THAAD deployment, but a little less so when determining the rationale for Trudeau’s/ASSK’s/Obama’s Chinese visits.
 
The point being: do journalists wish us to pressure the UN, boycott Russia, find ISIS, or launch an investigation into Western bombing thus pressuring US and aligned powers?
 
After all, I was under the assumption that that was precisely why we sent journalists to the Middle East.
 
Showing us images of carnage doesn’t inform us but often helps expedite already agreed upon foreign policy decisions. (See My Lai and the American withdrawal from Vietnam.)
 
Perhaps if the 4th Estate was a little more transparent about what they do know, we could both do their job for them and stop the conflict. Without the guilt trip.
 
It is war porn.
 
And don’t forget it.
 
 
Australia is currently in the midst of political debate regarding Chinese political donations to major parties and politicians, with a slew of reports detailing Chinese influence on our pollies. Alongside those reports, came more revelations on cyber hacking by foreign elements and a security conference in Canberra.
 
S-E-R-E-N-D-I-P-I-T-Y.
 
Large donations by US or Western companies haven’t had the same focus – but the EU has Apple in its sights, so perhaps Josh Earnest was only stating the obvious when he inadvertently referred to America’s economic interests in the Asia-Pacific.
 
(Perhaps real estate prices for Australia’s Y Gen are the real issue but there was a government inquiry into that.)
 
Meanwhile, there was a blast at the Chinese embassy in Tashkent (or was it Bishkek?) which might sort of be similar to the Chinese Serbia scenario years ago or maybe not.
 
And for those of you sick of ‘Chinese’ or ‘American’ interests – 18C is being debated in Parliament. As well as a plebiscite on gay marriage.
 
Perhaps the Donald Trump distraction tool has reached its used by date.
 
 
So OB is off to Laos and China. Kick arse temple decoration in the former. I hope he flies into Luang Prabang. Takes a trip down the Nam Ou. Sticky rices the hell up.
 
Anyway, Laos was the backdoor for American bombs in the Vietnam War, so the turn around in American policy continues apace.
 
I am allegedly meant to insert smarmy comments here but I’ll instead focus on the trends in APEC and ASEAN policy making and ask the question: is this unexpected? Does this accord with other decisions in these regional bodies?
 
Ah the bigger picture.
 
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