We are proud to announce the marriage of Ms Crumbwobbli Four-eyed Pitcock and Grand Alpha Small Doodle Poo Bear.
They met while testing algorithms at a test site deep inside a Nitro Coffee Bar in Silicon Valley. Ms Crumbwobbli’s hairy forearm touched Small Doodle Poo Bear’s Peaked Graphite Peak and the rest is, as they say, history.
Their first date was a trek through the Bolivian Andes where Ms Crumbwobbli picked up many anthropological insights into Poor People Funded by China but Still Flocked By America with Multiple Local Benefits.
The local ethnic ponchos were an endless source of delight for both much more so than the Poor Bastards Wearing Them and they set up a clothing company distributing Rough Hewn Tents through North America.
If you are staying at any of the resorts with lower font 90’s white writing and ethnic vermillion hammocks, you will find yourself jaunting down the beaches looking faintly ridiculous as you Heidi Klum your way through Poor Pets countries.
A part of the Poor Possums network, both Crumbwobbli and Small Doodle Poo Bear fund Children’s literacy programs throughout the region. Neither know when to use ‘neither’ ‘nor’ and have a problem with split infinitives. Basic grammar is also a problem.
After removing her hormonal implant, Crumbwobbli plans to have many more dyslexic children some of whom may make it to University on an athletic scholarship.
The wedding will take place in an appropriate setting with lots of natural light, a bouquet of deformed twigs, and a shot to camera from over the left shoulder. In black and white.
Crumbwobbli’s father is Admiral Beau Fogbottom the 30th who led the successful anti-terrorism NATO mission in FrogFrouFrouLand, securing much needed natural resources for the Empire and picking up a child or two.
Her Mother is CEO of Californian Creative Enterprises, a non-profit that turns wheelchairs into NASCAR worthy vehicles, an initiative that has won the Greenhouse Environmental Certification Prize ten years in a row. She also sits on that board.
Grand Alpha Pooh Bear’s Father is an insurance agent for NDNFI, a natural disasters operation that seeks new opportunities for energy renewal. It involves pincer like extraction from health claims involving oil and gas terminals on the environmental shore. He is well liked in the Pentagon. He is bald.
Grand Alpha’s mother plays tennis three times a week and is busy running a rug export business out of Kazakhstan.
They will take up residence in Norway, perfecting Penguin robotic deterrents at the Pop Up Submarine Warfare Simulation Site designed to piss off those Pretentious Arctic Pooftahs, the Bastard Russians.
The robotic Penguins will also be used alcohol bearers for insipid whinging NATO troops who often wear ridiculous nighttime snow googles that don’t expose shit.
They couldn’t shoot a Yeti in a snowstorm.